Gomenasai, Die
by xXShokubeniXDieXx
Summary: Amara Volkova was a normal thirty something until she met the rhythm guitarist of Dir en grey.So many inconveniences try to tear them apart. Can they do anything to help their relationship? DieXOC
1. All Visible Things

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

There was a huge line of people for Dir en grey's "All Visible Things" tour in Englewood, Colorado. Amara Volkova stood with her best friend, Shelly Winters, in the twenty four degree cold night. Amara looked at her watch to see it was only six o'clock. She pulled her Gir hoodie closer to her while shivering.

"I am freezing my butt off,"Amara replied shivering.

"You should be used to the cold. You are from Russia,"Shelly snickered.

"Haha, very funny. I only lived there for five years,"Amara replied sitting on the ground.

"Also it doesn't help if you're wearing that school girl outfit,"Shelly said pointing at Amara's short, plaid skirt.

"I didn't think it would be this cold,"Amara said setting her head against the building.

Amara looked at her watch to see it read 6:02. Amara groaned and hung her head low.

'Fuck,'she mentally swore.

Amara closed her eyes since she was tired. After all, she did go to bed a little late last night. After awhile, Shelly roughly shook Amara awake.

"Amara! Get your lazy butt up! The doors are opening!"Shelly screamed.

"Ah! I'm awake! I'm awake! I'll make breakfast!"Amara cried getting up.

"Amara, snap out of it!"Shelly shouted shaking her.

Shelly and Amara grabbed their tickets from their purses. Quickly, they presented them at the door and ran as quickly as they could to the stage. Thankfully, they were up front at the railing. Shelly stood where Kyo would be while Amara stood where Die would be. Amara couldn't believe that she was going to be near Die.

Soon, the venue was filling with people. Amara noticed that some roadies were coming out to set up for Dir en grey's opening band, Solar Bears. Amara sighed, wanting Dir en grey to come out. Solar Bears began to come out and the main vocalist began to talk about random things about their band. Amara crossed her arms, looking at her watch again to see it was 7:20. Solar Bears began to play as soon as their vocalist shut up. They sounded all right so far but when the vocalist began to sing, Amara winced. She covered her ears while telling the to "get off the stage" and to "shut the fuck up". Shelly looked over at her friend and could feel her pain.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Dir en grey were all sitting backstage and could hear the Solar Bears performance. Kyo just shook his head while rolling his eyes.

"Good thing we made that bet,"Kaoru replied grinning.

"I can't wait for Kyo to eat his face off. That vocalist cannot sing worth a shit,"Toshiya replied crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

"His face isn't even worth eating,"Kyo said leaning back in his chair.

Shinya was about to pipe up but saw Die peeping behind the curtain with interest. Shinya cocked an eyebrow, wondering what their guitarist was looking at.

"What are you looking at, Die?"Shinya asked.

"Yeah, you've been staring out there for about five minutes now,"Toshiya mentioned,"Is that band so interesting to you?"

Die looked back at his bandmates,"Not really. They're horrible... but I do see a cute redhead in the crowd."

"Aww!! How cute! Die's in love!"Kaoru laughed.

"Haha, are you Charlie Brown now, Die?"Shinya asked while laughing,"Falling in love with the little redheaded girl."

"Shut up, Shinya!"Die shouted.

"You shut up!"Shinya argued back.

"Will both of you shut up!"Kyo growled,"We don't need this before a performance."

Die just glared at Shinya while Shinya was preparing to throw a drumstick at him but Toshiya took it before he could throw it.  
)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

After a half and hour, Solar Bears finally stopped playing and left the stage. Amara thanked God they left before she got up on stage to pound the vocalist. After five minutes of Solar Bears getting their instruments off stage, the roadies for Dir en grey came out and began setting up.

Amara watched one of the sound crew tune Die's beautiful new guitar. She already could feel butterflies in her stomach. She knew she was getting very nervous as she wrung her sweaty hands. Her heartbeat quickened as time drew near for the band to come and play their amazing music. After fifteen minutes of the set up, Amara saw Shinya come out and began to cheer. Everyone practically screamed when they all came out, especially for Kyo. Amara looked from her left to see Kaoru, Toshiya, Kyo, Shinya and the beautiful man himself, Die. Amara's eyes lit up as she saw him put the strap of the guitar over him. When Die adjusted the strap to the way he liked it, he turned to the crowd.

Die straightened the strap to his liking, cursing the sound guy for adjusting the strap to make it lower. As he was finished with that, he turned to the crowd and instantly locked eyes with the redheaded girl that he was looking at earlier. She stared back at him with her hands over her heart like she was trying to keep it from jumping out. Die gave her a smile and a wink, earning a huge blush on her face.

Throughout the concert, Die would give little glances at the redhead to see her smiling at him and taking pictures of him. Every once in awhile, he would stop moving so she could take a picture of him. Amara looked over at Toshiya who was all over the stage and he went near Die. Die looked over at Toshiya then saw a look on his face practically telling Die to focus. Die gave Toshiya a look like he was sorry.

Amara looked over at Shelly who was singing along. Amara then looked up at Kyo who was staring at Shelly while she was singing. Amara smiled big because she knew that Shelly and Kyo were gazing into each other's eyes. She also knew that they were instant soulmates.  
Shelly sang along to _Dozing Green_ with Kyo. Kyo noticed Shelly singing with him and instantly looked down at her. He bent down on his box to stare at Shelly with his gorgeous eyes. She was entranced by Kyo's sensual movements and having him look at her. Kyo was lost in Shelly's eyes and he didn't realize it. Kyo swore that he was staring straight into her soul. Shelly just wanted to reach out to Kyo and pull him close to her.  
)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

After the concert, everyone went crazy when the bandmembers threw their water bottles into the crowd. Kaoru, Toshiya and Die began to throw out guitar picks. Amara tried to jump up and catch one but was too short. Soon Die looked at her and threw the one he played with towards her. Amara went to grab it but a fat girl behind her caught it. Amara looked back at her in disbelief as the girl laughed at Amara. Amara turned her gaze towards the ground. Die could see she was extremely upset causing him to frown.

The crowd began to thin out as Dir en grey finished throwing out items. Amara walked towards Shelly who was still ecstatic. Shelly looked at Amara who had a happy yet sad look on her face.

"Amara, sweety, what's wrong?"Shelly asked her smile changing to a concerned look.

"Oh, nothing. Some girl took the guitar pick that Die threw to me,"Amara sighed.

"Awww... it's ok. I didn't get anything either..."Shelly said,"Next time, we shall get something."

"Hehe, you're right,"Amara giggled.

"Come on. Let's get some merchandise before they sell out!"Shelly replied happily taking Amara's hand and running towards the doors.

Die ran backstage and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. He began to scribble something down frantically. Kyo walked over to him and wondered what Die was doing.

"What are you writing?"Kyo asked.

"Something,"Die replied still writing.

"It's a love note to his girlfriend,"Shinya laughed.

"Shinya, if I didn't have to go out their soon and do autographs, I would kick the crap out of you,"Die replied grabbing a guitar pick and placing it into the note.

"Come on, Die. We need to get out there now before they devour each other or worse, start squealing,"Kaoru called to him.

"I'm coming!"Die shouted running towards Kaoru.

Die hoped to God that girl will be there to get his signature and to get the note he had written to her.

Amara and Shelly were patiently waiting in line to get an autograph from their guys. Amara unwrapped her new Average Blasphemy DVD and looked at the lovely disc inside. Though she was going to have them sign her Uroboros CD. Shelly then groaned causing Amara to look at her.

"What's wrong, Shelly?"Amara asked concerned.

"I only see Die and Kaoru out signing... I don't see Kyo anywhere..."Shelly sighed.

"Aww... Shelly... I'm so sorry..."Amara replied sadly.

"Well, at least you get to meet your guy,"Shelly said perking up a little.

Amara blushed and smiled a bit, recalling the concert where Die would give her glances and small smiles. The line moved quickly as Kaoru and Die signed everybody's CDs or DVDs. Amara brought out her Uroboros CD and could feel herself getting nervous again. Shelly placed her hand on her friend's shoulder for reassurance. Amara turned to her then sighed in relief with a smile. Amara walked up to Kaoru and handed him her CD. She told him that he played wonderfully tonight earning a smile and a thank you from him. He signed her CD then gave it back to her. Amara felt her heart beat faster and faster as she walked up to Die.


	2. Backstage with Dir en grey

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

Die monotonously signed each girl's CD and heard them squeal as they walked away from him. Die sighed a little then a few feet away he saw the redheaded girl talking to her friend. He brightened up a little bit and couldn't wait to talk to her. The girl's friend approached him and smiled at him while handing him her CD.

"You were great tonight, Die,"Shelly said with a smile.

"Arigatou,"Die replied with a small smile signing her CD.

"Say hi to Kyo for me, k?"Shelly said.

"Sure,"Die said handing Shelly her CD.

Shelly then walked a few feet then stopped as she waited for Amara. Amara walked up to Die with nervousness written all over her face. Die saw that her whole face was red from blushing. Amara shyly handed him her CD.

"You played amazingly tonight,"Amara replied with a smile.

"Thank you,"Die said with a small blush creeping on his face and a large smile playing on his lips. Die then pulled out the note with the guitar pick in it. He slid it into the Uroboros CD then signed the cover. Amara noticed this and was confused. Die took her hand softly and placed the CD in it. He whispered in her ear,"Read the note outside."

Amara blushed from his hot breath on her ear. Amara nodded and stood back to look at him.

"Arigatou, Die,"Amara said shyly then ran to Shelly.

Shelly looked at Amara who was blushing like crazy and tried not to squeal.

"What'd he give you?"Shelly asked excitedly with a smirk.

"I'm not sure..."Amara said pulling out the note,"He told me to read the note outside..."

Amara and Shelly both walked outside. A slight wind picked up, causing Amara to have chills run up her spine. Amara put on her new Dir en grey hoodie.

"Are you going to open the note from Die?"Shelly asked as she put on her new hoodie also.

"Oh, right,"Amara replied taking out her Uroboros CD. Amara noticed there was a bump in the note and took out what it was. She gasped to see it was one of Die's guitar picks,"Die's pick."

"He likes you!"Shelly squealed.

"Nah, he probably felt bad for me,"Amara denied while looking at the pick.

"Oh, whatever,"Shelly replied.

Amara rolled her eyes but then opened the note Die gave to her. She could somewhat read what he wrote.

"Meet me at the backstage doors in twenty minutes. I would love to talk to you.  
~Die,"Amara read aloud.

Amara's face went from blushing to pale. Shelly was practically smiling her head off and hugged Amara.

"Oh my god!"Shelly cried,"He DOES like you!"

"No, n-no, it can't be,"Amara stuttered blushing,"I-I I can't!"

"All right, missy. You're going to go see him and I'm coming with,"Shelly replied beginning to push Amara towards the gates.

"Hey now! We can't just go back there!"Amara screeched while putting away her CD and the note with the guitar pick in it,"We'll be tossed out on our butts!"

"Then we'll sneak over,"Shelly said looking around them for any guards.

"Shelly!"Amara shouted.

"Shush! You want someone to hear you!?"Shelly shushed her. Shelly looked around again the began to climb the fence,"Come on!"

"But..."Amara started.

"Amara, you like Die, right?"Shelly asked.

"Yes..."Amara replied.

"You really like him?"

"I do..."

"You love him?"

"More than anything..."

"Then start climbing over this fence right now!"Shelly ordered,"Hop to it!"

Amara sighed then began to climb onto the fence. Shelly was right, Amara had to do this. She checked below to see if anyone was there but the coast was clear. Even the venue security went back inside the Gothic Theatre. Shelly was already waiting for her on the other side. Amara slowly climbed down on the other side.

"Nice undies, Amara. Get them from Hot Topic?"Shelly laughed.

"Shut up,"Amara replied jumping down.

She landed next to Shelly and straightened out her skirt. They looked around then saw the tour bus a few feet away. Both girls ran towards it then were stopped by a guard.

"What are you doing back here!?"the guard ordered.

"Meep!"Amara squeaked as the guard tried to grab her.

The guard tried to chase Amara while Shelly kept telling Amara to run. Amara knew this was a bad idea. She then tripped and landed on the asphalt. Quickly, Amara turned to see the guard with a very angry look on his face.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(  
After Die and Kaoru were finished signing autographs, they headed backstage to see Kyo asleep in a chair. Kyo had been sick lately so he was probably tired out from the performance. Toshiya and Shinya were both drinking water and wiping sweat from their brows. Shinya looked at Die then smiled.

"Ready to see your _girlfriend_, Die?"Shinya snickered.

Die just rolled his eyes, walking towards the exit. He opened the door, feeling a breeze rush in from the chilled November air. Though it felt good on his warm, perspired skin. He took in the brisk Colorado air around him. He ran a hand through his long dark hair and began to walk towards the bus. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his redheaded girl being chased by a guard. The girl's friend kept shouting,"Amara! Run! Run!". The redhead tripped and landed on her hands. She turned over to look at the guard who was looming over her. The guard grabbed her roughly by the arm, bringing her up. Die gasped and ran as fast as he could towards them.

"You are in big trouble, missy,"the guard snarled.

Shelly ran towards them,"Hey! Let my friend go now!"

The guard grabbed Shelly by her hoodie,"I'm reporting both of you. Come on!"

"Let them go, now!"a voice shouted.

They all turned to see Die standing opposite of them with a very angry look on his face. Amara smiled at him in relief. The guard stood straight up.

"I caught these two trespassing. They need to be dealt with,"he replied.

"I invited both these lovely ladies to come and meet the band. You have no right treating them with such abuse,"Die replied.

The guard let go of both of them with an angry face. He then walked back into the venue. Shelly turned to Amara who was looking at her hands. They were bleeding from when she landed on the asphalt.

"Amara, are you ok?"Shelly asked.

"A little,"Amara said as she winced when she moved one of her hands.

"You need those bandaged,"Die replied.

Die softly touched Amara's wrist which sent shivers up her spine. His hands were soft and gentle, especially after he played his guitar. Die led them towards the backstage doors.

"Die, thank you for saving us back there,"Shelly piped up.

"It's no trouble,"Die said looking at her with a smile.

He then looked at his little redhead to see she was very silent. Die rubbed her wrist with his thumb. Die figured that she was really shy which he thought was cute. Die opened the door for them then walked in after them. Shelly look to see Toshiya, Shinya, Kaoru and Kyo all backstage. She had to resist the urge to scream. Die led Amara to a chair and sat her down.

"Is this your little redhead, Die?"Toshiya asked.

"Maybe,"Die replied opening a first aid kit that was kept for emergency backstage.

Kyo then opened his eyes, seeing who was disturbing his sleep and looked to see the girl he saw from the crowd tonight. He was awestruck that she was actually back here. Her short blonde hair was strayed with black and pink while her blue eyes seemed to pierce through him. Those eyes would haunt him forever.

"So what's your name, cutie?"Kaoru asked Shelly.

"Oh, I'm Shelly Winters. My friend over there is Amara Volkova,"Shelly introduced themselves,"We both thought you guys were great tonight. This has to be your best performance yet."

"Arigatou, Shelly,"Toshiya said smiling at her.

Everyone continued talking to each other while Die focused his attention on Amara. Die went back to Amara with some alcohol and some white bandages. Die sat in front of her and carefully took her hand. There were some nasty scratches on her hand. Die put some alcohol on a cotton ball and looked up at Amara.

"This will sting a little,"Die told her.

Amara nodded at him then looked down so Die couldn't see her blush. Die lightly placed the alcohol soaked cotton ball on her scratches causing her to twitch from the pain. Amara bit her lip, thinking it shouldn't hurt this much. Die noticed her pain and began to blow on the throbbing wounds. Amara calmed down from Die's breath against her skin. The hair on the back of her neck stood up. Die focused on the other hand, dabbing at the scratches while blowing on them. Amara stared at Die with affection in her eyes. She always dreamt of being with him. Though in this case, she didn't think it would be painful if it meant being with him. She probably would fall off a cliff if it meant she could be with him for a short time.

Die looked up at her to see she was smiling at him. Die smiled back then went back to bandaging her hands. He finished then stood up, throwing the bloody cotton balls away. Amara looked at her hands then at Die who was putting away the first aid kit. She smiled at him though she knew he couldn't see her smiling.

"So, Amara,"a voice said to her.

Amara turned her head to see Shinya was the one who spoke to her,"Yes?"

"Shelly tells us this is your first concert,"Shinya said.

"Well, first Dir en grey concert. Shelly wanted me to come along and this is part of my birthday present also,"Amara said.

"Aw, that's really sweet of you, Shelly,"Kyo piped up.

Shelly looked over at Kyo,"Thank you."

Shelly smiled and blushed a little. Finally, Kyo talked to her but she also noticed he stared at her a few times. Though Kyo turned his head whenever Shelly looked at him, Shelly knew that he was gazing at her.

"When's your birthday, Amara?"Toshiya asked.

"This Saturday. I have invited Shelly to come celebrate with me at my favorite restaurant,"Amara explained.

"Wow, well Happy Birthday,"Kaoru replied.

"Thank you,"Amara said with a smile.

Amara turned to see Die was drinking from a bottle of water. He probably wasn't used to the climate and altitude of Colorado yet.

"So, what are you guys going to be doing for the rest of the night?"Shelly queried,"Are you heading to San Francisco next?"

"We're going to go party it up in Denver,"Toshiya said grinning.

"Awesome, we hope you guys have fun,"Amara said.

"Well... we could use a tour of Denver and you girls are already here, so why don't you come with us?"Die asked walking towards them.

"Are you serious!?"Shelly asked excitedly.

"Sure, you can show us the local hot spots of the city,"Shinya said.

"Before it gets any darker, we should head out now,"Kyo replied getting up from his comfy chair.

"We can go ahead and give you guys a ride, our car is big enough,"Shelly said.

"Great, let's get going,"Toshiya said pulling on his coat.

All of them began to exit the backstage to outside. Amara forgot her purse then went back to the chair, she sat in, to see it lying there. She grabbed it and felt a hand on her shoulder. Amara turned to see a smiling Die. Amara smiled at him and turned to him.

"You know, we still need to have our talk,"Die replied with a playful grin.

"You're right,"Amara said smiling,"Shall we then?"

"We shall,"Die chuckled as he wrapped and arm around her shoulder.

Amara smiled as she cuddled a little close to Die as they walked outside.


	3. Night Out Part 1

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Amara smiled as she cuddled a little close to Die as they walked outside. When they reached the car, Shelly walked up to them.

"Problem,"Shelly said.

"What's wrong, Shelly?"Amara asked.

"We don't have that much room. You're going to have to sit on Die's lap,"Shelly replied scratching the back of her head.

"Oh,"Amara replied with a blush.

"It's no problem,"Die said bringing Amara a little closer to him.

Shelly opened the door for them. Die got in first and sat in the seat. Somehow Amara knew this had to be planned out but right now she didn't care. Amara got in and carefully sat in Die's lap.

"Tell me if Amara's bony butt hurts you and I'll have her sit on the floor,"Shelly laughed.

"Shut up, Shelly!"Amara growled.

Shelly laughed as she shut the door to the car. She got into the driver's side then started the car as soon as she got settled. Amara was blushing like hell now. She was actually sitting on Die's lap. Amara even noticed that Die had his hand on her leg. On their way to Denver, everyone was chatting with each other. Shelly was talking with Kyo, who was sitting in the passenger seat. Toshiya, Kaoru and Shinya were chatting with each other while Amara and Die were getting to know each other.

"Your last name, Volkova. Is it Russian?"Die asked.

"It is, I am from Russia too. I used to live there but moved here when I was very young,"Amara explained,"I know a little Russian too."

"Really? It's neat to meet someone who is bilingual,"Die replied smiling.

"Da,"Amara replied smiling.

Die chuckled a little which made Amara's heart fly. She actually made Die laugh.

"By the way,"Die replied.

"Yeah?"Amara asked looking at him.

"Are you a natural redhead?"Die asked stroking her hair back.

Amara's face reddened from his touch on her hair. Amara nodded her head slowly.

"I am a natural redhead,"Amara said. She then touched his hand that was on her leg,"Shelly told me that you like redheads."

"Maybe,"Die said with a smirk.

Amara stared at his smiling lips. She couldn't help but get closer to him, his breath making Amara quiver from pleasure. She could feel Die intertwine his fingers with hers.

'Pokazhi mne lyubov, Die...'Amara thought weakly.

"We have arrived at our first destination, boys!"Shelly exclaimed.

Amara broke out of her thoughts to see that they were at the Colorado Mills mall. Amara and Shelly loved coming to this mall. This mall went in a big circle and in the middle of it was a huge carousel.

"Good choice, Shelly!"Amara replied opening the door.

She jumped out and stretched. The boys got out and followed Amara and Shelly into the huge mall. They walked in to see Christmas decorations everywhere already with a lot of people doing some Christmas shopping. The boys eyes lit up as they looked around at everything then saw the carousel.

"This place is amazing!"Shinya exclaimed.

"Did you guys want to go separate ways? We can meet up back here in a couple hours,"Shelly suggested,"I have some Christmas shopping to do and I can't have a certain someone with me when I do it."

"Well, la dee da, sweety,"Amara replied jokingly and stuck her tongue out at her best friend,"By the way, some of the boys can go with either of us."

"Right, so who wants to come with me?"Shelly asked.

"I'll come!"Shinya replied excitedly.

"Same here,"Toshiya replied.

"I'll go as well,"Kyo said trying to act cool.

"I'll go ahead and go with Amara,"Kaoru said.

"Yeah, me too,"Die replied.

"All right, we'll meet back her in about a couple hours. Then we'll go to another place Amara and I like then grab something to eat,"Shelly mentioned.

"Sounds great,"Kaoru said.

"Ok, see you guys in a couple hours,"Amara said beginning to walk away.

"See you guys!"Shelly said walking the other way.

Amara then pulled her wallet out of her purse. She opened it to pull out a list and skimmed through it.

"Christmas shopping too?"Kaoru asked.

"Yup,"Amara said looking at the two boys,"I just need to shop for Shelly and my sister then I'm pretty much done."

"Come to think of it, I need to get a gift for someone too,"Die replied.

"Really? Who's that, Die?"Kaoru asked looking at Die.

"It's a secret,"Die said.

Amara giggled at him then walked towards Borders as Kaoru and Die talked. Amara walked towards the photography book section then looked through the books.

"What book are you looking for?"Die asked.

"A photography book that helps you with photos in Photoshop,"Amara replied looking around. Soon she spotted it on the top shelf,"There it is."

She tried to reach for it but couldn't grab it. Amara whined a little trying again to get it. Die chuckled at her then grabbed the book for her. He handed it to her.

"Here,"Die replied smiling at her.

"Thank you, Die,"Amara said smiling back blushing with embarrassment.

"Sure,"Die said patting the top of her head.

Amara laughed little when he did that. Amara then walked towards the manga section of the store while Die followed her over there. Amara picked up a book on visual kei and placed it with the other book she had in her arms.

"Visual kei?"Die asked.

"Yeah, it's for Shelly. She likes visual kei alot and she likes doing her make up that way. So this book could be a guide for her,"Amara said,"I even like it too."

"I see,"Die replied.

He remembered back in the day when Dir en grey would do visual kei. Their fans now think that their new look isn't that good and that they should go back to doing visual kei. He looked down sadly.

"Die... what's the matter?"Amara asked a little worried.

Die looked up to see the concerned look on her face.

"It's just... so many fans don't like our new look now and prefer for us to go back to visual kei,"Die said putting his hands in his pockets,"Do you like how we look now, Amara, or do you want visual kei?"

"Die..."Amara said touching his arm lightly,"Truthfully, I love how you guys look now. So does Shelly too."

"You do?"Die asked surprised.

"I do, very, very much. Though you were very cute when you had your red hair but now, you guys look great,"Amara said,"And if people don't like the way you look now, then they aren't true fans. They shouldn't be dwelling on what you guys look like, they need to focus on your music."

Die was amazed with what she said. She was right about everything. Die looked into her eyes to see sincerity and felt weak. Her feather soft touch made him have goosebumps. He took one of his hands out of his pocket and held her hand.

"Domo arigatou, Amara,"Die whispered softly, holding her hand gently.

"Doitashimashite, Die,"Amara replied smiling at him.

Die got closer to her, so wanting to fill the gap between them. Amara stared straight into his eyes. Those deep pools drew her in, almost drowning her with their beauty. His sunkissed skin was so soft to the touch, so pure and delicate. His body was like a sculpture, chiseled to perfection that gods would envy. Every time he moved, he was so sensual when he did it. This man was perfect in everyway.  
Die brought her hand to his face, smelling the scent of cherry blossoms on her sensitive hands. Her eyes drew him in with their soft gaze. Her pale skin was soft to the touch but creamy also. He loved the gorgeous locks of red hair that crowned her head. He also loved how her hair hugged her face but still feathered out.

"Hey! There you guys are!"Kaoru called to them.

Die was going to kill Kaoru for ruining his moment with Amara. Amara turned to see Kaoru running up to them.

"Hey there, Kaoru,"Amara said.

"You guys about ready?"Kaoru asked.

"Yeah, let me go ahead and pay for these,"Amara said.

Amara walked to where the checkout line was. Kaoru turned to Die who had a displeased look on his face.

"What?"Kaoru asked confused. Die then punched him in the arm and followed after Amara,"Hey! What the hell was that for!?"

Amara paid for the books and walked to the boys who were waiting for her by the door. She smiled at them and they all walked around the mall more. Die then saw something in a store that he had to get for Amara. It would be perfect for her.

"Hey, guys, I'm going to go in that shop. Go ahead and keep shopping, I'll catch up,"Die said running into the shop.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Amara and Kaoru looked at each other and shrugged a bit. They kept on walking through the mall.

Shelly was in Hot Topic looking at all the clothes. She wanted to get Amara something from here since it was her favorite store. Kyo was looking at some of the jackets, Shinya looked at the gloves while Toshiya felt like he was a kid in a candy store, looking at every little thing. Shelly then found some boots that would be perfect for Amara. She grabbed the box with the boots in them. She turned to look at the boys who were all having fun. Shelly smiled then took her items to the clerk at the desk. As she was checking out, Shelly looked out the store to see Die in a shop opposite of where Hot Topic was. She wondered where Kaoru and Amara were.

"You ok, Shelly?"Kyo asked.

"Oh,"Shelly replied and blushed,"Yes, I just see Die in that store over there. I wonder where Amara and Kaoru went."

"Maybe Die is shopping for Amara,"Shinya replied holding some items in his arms as he approached Kyo and Shelly.

"For Amara?"Shelly asked.

"Sure, we caught Die looking at Amara before the concert,"Toshiya said having more items in his arms.

"Wow, Amara would be happy knowing that,"Shelly giggled,"She's always had a crush on Die."

"We kinda figured as much. She is really shy around Die,"Kyo said.

"That's always been Amara. Though, she did warm up a little to him when she got his autograph,"Shelly replied.

After Shelly paid for her items, her and boys walked out of Hot Topic. Ironically, Die walked out of the store he was in at the same time. Die noticed them and ran over to them.

"Hey, Die. What'd you buy?"Toshiya asked.

"Some things for Amara for her birthday,"Die replied hiding the bag behind his back.

"Aha! I knew it!"Shelly replied laughing.

"You're as bad as Shinya,"Die replied to Shelly.

"We should probably find Amara and Kaoru,"Shinya suggested.

"Yeah, we should head out,"Toshiya said.

"Let me give Amara a call,"Shelly replied pulling out her cell phone.

The phone ran for a few seconds then heard Amara's voice on the other line.

"Hello!"Amara replied happily.

"Hey, where are you at?"Shelly asked.

"I'm over near the carousel. Kaoru's having fun,"Amara replied laughing.

"Haha, well, the boys and are heading your way,"Shelly informed,"We also found Die."

"All right, see you guys soon,"Amara replied then closed her phone.  
Amara closed her phone after talking to Shelly. She looked up at Kaoru who was on the carousel. Amara couldn't stop laughing at him.


	4. Night Out Part 2

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

After a few minutes, Amara spotted Shelly and the rest of the boys. She waved them over to where her and Kaoru were sitting. Amara and Kaoru stood up and went to their friends.

"Are we all ready to go?"Shelly asked.

"Yeah, my Christmas shopping is finished,"Amara replied holding up her bags.

"I'm ready to sit down,"Die sighed exhausted.

"Shop till you drop,"Toshiya replied laughing a little.

Shelly then looked at her watch and smirked.

"Hey, Amara. You thinking what I'm thinking?"Shelly asked.

Amara looked at her watch and smirked back,"You read my mind."

The boys were curious as to what was on both girls' minds. All seven of them exited the mall and headed towards Shelly's car. Amara was behind everybody since she was looking up at the night sky.  
"Beautiful, isn't it?"a voice said next to her.

Amara turned to see Die walking next to her, looking up at the sky as well.

"Huh?"Amara asked.

"The stars,"Die replied looking back at her.

"Oh! Yeah,"Amara replied stupidly.

Die chuckled a little. He then held her hand, slipping his fingers through hers. Amara looked at their hands intertwined. They held hands until they reached the car. Amara placed her bags in the very back of the car. Then she got in the car and sat on Die's lap again. Die smiled at her which made Amara smile. Shelly then drove to their next location. Everyone began chatting with each other again like they did before. Amara and Die were getting a little closer.

"Hey, Die,"Amara piped up.

"Yeah?"Die asked looking at her.

"Back in the bookstore..."Amara started.

"Yeah?"Die repeated holding her hand.

"Were we... about... to kiss?"Amara asked blushing a little.

"I think so..."Die replied,"Did I go too far?"

"No, no of course not..."Amara started,"I... never thought of being this close to you..."

Die smiled and stroked her hand,"Well, dreams come true."

"Die..."Amara whispered.

Die's hand caressed his hand up her arm. Amara blushed more, getting closer to Die. Then Shelly parked the car in front of a building.

"We're here!"Shelly announced.

'Damnit!'Amara mentally cursed.

Something always had to interrupt her and Die from getting close. Amara looked out the window and instantly her face lit up.

"All right!"Amara cheered getting out of the car and running into the building.

Shelly laughed at Amara then turned to the boys. They all had confused looks on their faces. The place had no sign on it so they had no idea where they were.

"What is this place?"Shinya asked.

"This is where Amara and I come here for karaoke,"Shelly replied,"Amara and I can both entertain you."

"Haha, sounds great,"Kaoru replied.

They all walked in and saw Amara preparing for karaoke. She noticed the boys and Shelly came and waved.

"Hey, guys! I already paid for all of us!"Amara replied.

There were no people at karaoke tonight. Amara went through the list of songs while Shelly looked through her own. The boys sat down at a table and had water brought to them.

"What songs are we doing tonight, ladies?"Toshiya replied smiling.

"I will be doing your songs,"Shelly replied proudly.

"I'll be doing t.A.T.u songs,"Amara said smiling.

"You always do Russian! Try Japanese!"Shelly replied.

"Hey! I'm not that good at Japanese, remember?"Amara said crossing her arms.

"Fine, you win this time,"Shelly said.

The boys watched them bicker which made them laugh. Shelly and Amara looked at the boys who were laughing at them. The stopped and smiled while blushing embarrassed.

"Right,"Amara started,"You go first, Shelly."

Shelly nodded and chose her song, starting off with _Glass Skin_. Shelly hit every note perfectly and amazed all of the boys, especially Kyo. When Shelly was finished, Amara decided to go with t.A.T.u's song _Kosmos_. Die was really with amazed with Amara's thick Russian accent but especially her singing. She had a beautiful singing voice. For the next couple hours, Shelly and Amara continued entertaining the boys who were blown away by their singing. Amara finished with the song _We Shout_.

"I will forget my dreams... Nothing is what it seems... I will affect you... I will protect you... From all the crazy schemes... You traded in your wings... For everything freedom brings... You never left me... You never let me... See what this feeling means... Everything that you feel... Is everything that I feel... So when we dream... We shout... You say it's so complex... Passion can pass for less... We never bothered... Telling each other... What we were bound to guess... Will anybody care? We could go anywhere... Going through danger... Talking to strangers... Will there be someone there? Everything that you feel... Is everything that I feel... So when we dream... We shout..."Amara sang sadly.

The boys clapped for her which made Amara blush. Shelly walked beside her and both bowed as the boys clapped. Both stepped off stage towards them.

"You guys are great!"Shinya replied.

"Where did you learn to sing like that?"Kyo asked mostly asking Shelly.

"I practiced for a really long time,"Shelly replied.

"I've been singing since I was little,"Amara said.

"It's amazing that you can growl just like Kyo, Shelly,"Kaoru replied.

"It's so similar,"Die replied.

"Thanks, guys,"Shelly said,"Are you all ready to go and eat?"

"Yeah, we should grab a bite to eat then head back,"Kyo suggested.

"Ok, let's get going,"Toshiya replied.

They all headed out to the car and got in. They all decided to go to a Denny's since it was the only restaurant that was open at this time of night.

It would take a little while before they would get to a Denny's so Amara decided to talk to Die. She held his hand in hers.

"Did you have fun at karaoke, Die?"Amara asked.

"I did,"Die replied,"You really are an amazing singer."

"No, not really,"Amara replied feeling her face flush.

"Yes really,"Die said,"You were great."

"Arigatou, Die,"Amara said smiling at him.

Die gave her a soft smile and got closer to her. He softly kissed Amara's forehead which shocked Amara a lot but enjoyed it at the same time. Amara never wanted this to end but she knew that after they ate, they would go back to the Gothic Theatre and Die would leave her forever. Die saw the somber look on her face which made his heart sink.

"Amara, what's wrong?"Die asked worried.

"After we have dinner, we have to go back so you can leave... I'll never see you again..."Amara said very unhappy.

"Amara... please, don't think that way..."Die said,"You will see me again... not for awhile but you will see me again..."

"How can I be sure?"Amara asked melancoly.

"I will keep in contact with you,"Die said,"I will update you on what is happening and we can talk."

"Ok..."Amara replied still unsure.

Die placed a hand on her cheek, stroking it softly. Amara placed her hand over his while closing her eyes. Die hated seeing her so depressed like this.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Shelly looked in the backseats to see Toshiya, Shinya and Kaoru playing rock, paper, scissors with each other. Toshiya kept accusing Shinya of cheating when Shinya screamed that it was impossible to cheat at this game. That caused Shelly to laugh but stopped when saw Amara with a depressed look on her face. Die looked like he was trying to help her feel better. Shelly wondered what was wrong. She then looked over at Kyo who was sitting next to her. Kyo looked back at her and smiled causing her heart to melt. Dear God, she loved that man more than anything.

Finally, they all arrived at the Denny's, which was a couple miles from the Gothic Theatre. All seven of them walked in and nice old lady named Joyce sat them all down. They looked through the menu and finally decided what they wanted. Shelly and Amara decided to share a breakfast combo of hashbrowns, pancakes, bacon and sunny side up eggs. A couple of the boys ordered from the lunch section while the other three chose from the dinner menu. They all waited for their meals to come.

"So, do you guys have any idea of when you are coming back?"Shelly asked.

"Not yet,"Kyo said,"Probably not for a couple more years."

Amara tensed a little and gripped her napkin that was in her lap. She should have known this was going to happen. She tried not to get too attached to these boys when hanging out with them but it was too late. She was completely attached to them and especially attached to Die. She was now completely in love with Die. She didn't want them to leave. She imagined them leaving her just like her previous boyfriends have. Die almost reminded her of a guy she went out with back in high school. He was sweet, handsome and treated Amara like she was something special. Then one day, he just left town and didn't contact Amara or anything. Last time Amara contacted him was on Facebook. He became her friend on there and chatted with her. Amara then saw his relationship status was set to married. That was five years ago and Amara had forgotten about it till now. She could feel tears spring to her eyes. She had to get away for a few minutes. She then stood up causing the boys to stop talking and look at her.

"I'm going to go outside for a bit..."Amara replied not showing her face.

She pushed in her chair then headed outside. Shinya and Kaoru were confused while Toshiya, Kyo and Die were worried.

"What's wrong with Amara?"Kyo asked.

"I'm not sure..."Shinya said.

Die had a good idea of what was wrong,"I should go talk to her."

"Die... I probably should..."Shelly replied getting up,"This is really serious."

Shelly walked out of the door to see Amara sitting on a brick seat a few feet from the door. Shelly went and sat next to her while putting her arm around her best friend.

"Amara, what's the matter?"Shelly asked bringing her close.

"After all this... they will be leaving us, Shelly. They won't be back for at least another three to four years and you know it,"Amara sobbed,"Die will be leaving me... just like... him."

"Amara, Die is not like Victor. I know that Die likes you a lot,"Shelly said,"Die is different and you know it."

"To him I'm just another fan,"Amara sighed while wiping her eyes.

"No, you're not!"Shelly shouted,"You know what Die told me when were were trying to find you and Kaoru in the mall?"

"What did he tell you?"Amara asked interested while looking at her.

"He called you his "little Russian redhead","Shelly said.

"H-he... he did?"Amara asked.

"Yeah, he loves you, Amara,"Shelly said.

"I love him too..."Amara replied looking down.

"Then go back in there and spend your last minutes with Die,"Shelly said.

"You're right,"Amara said getting up.

Both walked back into the restaurant and went back to the boys and sat down.

"Hey, Amara, are you ok?"Toshiya asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. Thanks,"Amara replied smiling.

"Are you sure?"Kyo asked.

"Yeah, I am,"Amara said.

Amara then felt her hand being held under the table. She held the hand back and knew that it belonged to Die. She turned her gaze to Die who still had a concerned look on his face. Amara softly squeezed his hand, reassuring him that she was all right.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

All seven continued talking as their food was brought to them. Shelly was trying to convince them to come to Colorado more often. Amara agreed and kept egging them on. Kyo finally gave in and said yes. When the check came, Toshiya went to grab it but Amara quickly took it before he could get his hand within a foot from it.

"Hey, you guys don't have to pay!"Toshiya replied.

"Too bad,"Amara replied sticking her tongue out at him.

Amara and Shelly both looked at the check. Amara and Shelly decided to split their pay and tip. They placed the tip on the table then went to the cash register. Joyce came up and took care of the transaction. After that was done, they all left the restaurant and walked to the car. Die caught up with Amara and wrapped his arm around her. Amara held him close as well as they walked. Everyone piled into the car and they headed off towards the Gothic Theatre. It was an almost silent trip back to the small venue. Amara and Die didn't speak that much but Die held her around waist, bringing her as close as he could. After fifteen minutes, they arrived back at the Gothic Theatre. Slowly, they got out and headed towards the tour bus. The boys turned to Shelly and Amara.

"We had a great time with both of you tonight. We appreciate you showing us around and paying for dinner,"Kyo replied with a smile.

"It's no trouble. We also had a great time with you tonight, it was a dream come true,"Shelly said.

"That reminds me,"Amara replied as she ran back to the car.


	5. Goodbye, Die

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Die then felt someone slightly push him. He turned to see that it was Shinya. Shinya nodded his head towards Amara's way as if telling him "Go after her now!". Die nodded then ran off to where Amara went.

Amara grabbed a small bag from the back of the car. She closed the door and turned to see Die standing next to her.

"Die..."Amara whispered.

"I wanted to talk to you before we left..."Die replied.

"Sure,"Amara said walking up to him.

Die pulled her to where Shelly and rest of the guys wouldn't see them. Die brought her into a tight hug. Amara held him back close, not wanting to let him go. Die placed his hands on her cheeks, looking deeply into her eyes.

"I will miss you... my little Russian redhead..."Die replied sadly.

"I will miss you too..."Amara whispered.

Die bent down slowly and pressed his soft lips to hers. His hands went from her cheeks to her waist, pulling her closer to him. Amara wrapped her arms around his neck, stroking back his long hair. Die made the kiss as deep and passionate as much as he could. They broke the kiss for air and looked at each other. Amara smiled at him but felt tears slipping from her eyes. Die wiped them away with his thumbs, looking into her eyes.

"Suki da, Amara..."Die whispered.

"Die..."Amara sobbed a little.

He softly kissed her again, trying to take away her pain but he knew it was futile but continued. Die put more passion into the kiss as much as he could. He rubbed her back as Amara held him close, not wanting to let go of him. Die pulled away with a frown on his face.

"I need to go now..."Die replied sadly.

"Die, wait..."Amara replied holding his hand. She gave him a small bag with two wrapped items in it,"One present is for your birthday... and the other is for Christmas."

Die smiled at her taking the present, holding her close to him. He kissed her forehead then set his head on top of hers, smelling the sweet scent in her hair.

"Arigatou..."Die whispered.

He held her hand they walked back to the group. They all turned their attention to Amara and Die.

"Hey, guys. We decided to take a group photo before we leave,"Shinya informed them.

"Great,"Die replied.

Shelly grabbed her camera and one of the boys' camera. She found a pile of wood to set them on and measured where everyone would be. She set the timers on both of them and ran to where Kyo was and they all huddled together. Shelly's camera took the first picture while the second camera took the next one five seconds after it. Shelly grabbed the cameras and gave the boys theirs. Die then got his camera and gave it to Shelly.

"Could you take a picture of Amara and me, Shelly?"Die asked.

"Sure,"Shelly replied smiling and held up the camera.

Die wrapped his arms around Amara, as did she. Shelly took the picture and smiled, thinking that they looked cute together.

"Could you take another one too?"Die asked.

Shelly nodded and counted down to when she was going to take it. Before she hit the button, Die swiftly kissed Amara on the lips, making the liplock come up in the photo.

"Awww, so cute,"Toshiya replied smiling.

Amara blushed while looking up at Die. Die smiled at her and gave her a small peck on the lips. Shelly giggled and handed him the camera.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Amara and Shelly hugged all the boys close, saying their good-byes. Shelly walked up to Kyo and smiled at him with a small blush on her face. Kyo smirked a little at her and hugged her close.

"I'll miss you, Shelly,"Kyo replied.

"Me too, Kyo,"Shelly said looking into his eyes.

Kyo kissed her cheek softly and blushed. Shelly felt her face get warm but smiled. Quickly, Shelly gave him a peck on the lips making Kyo's eyes go wide. Shelly giggled and hugged Kyo once more. Amara chuckled at her friend and Kyo getting friendly. Amara finished hugging Shinya then walked up to Die. Die placed his hands on her arms, rubbing them lightly. Amara wrapped her arms around him, setting her head on his chest. Die set his head on hers, inhaling her scent.

"Good-bye, Die,"Amara replied softly.

"Sayonara, Amara..."Die whispered.

Die felt his shirt grow warm and damp. He looked down to see Amara crying on his chest. Die wiped her tears away.

"Come back, soon... please,"Amara begged.

"I will, for you,"Die promised as he kissed her forehead,"My little Russian redhead."

Amara smiled when he said that and looked at him. Amara stood up on her tip toes and lightly kissed Die. Die smirked then kissed back. The boys snickered as they watched Die and Amara. They broke the kiss and glared at the boys. Amara went to where Shelly was and waved at the them.

"See ya, girls!"Toshiya shouted to them.

"Be safe, guys!"Shelly called back.

"We'll update everything on either Kaoru or Toshiya's blog!"Kyo replied.

"Have fun and come visit again!"Amara replied waving.

They were all on the bus and shortly drove off. Amara and Shelly both sighed deeply then looked at each other.

"Best night ever?"Shelly asked.

"Agreed,"Amara responded.

Both then had huge grins on their faces, trying not to scream. Both of them began to chat about what they did with the boys at the mall on their way to the car. Both got in and continued talking.

"Kyo definitely likes you, Shelly,"Amara said grinning.

"I think so too. He's so shy though, I tried to get a little close to him while we were at the mall,"Shelly explained searching for her keys in her purse.

"Aww... how cute,"Amara replied.

"You and Die though, oh my god,"Shelly replied laughing.

"I can't believe that he actually likes me,"Amara said smiling,"He's even a sweet kisser."

Shelly squealed a little,"That's so cute!"

"He even said "Suki da" to me,"Amara said blushing.

"Suki da? What does that mean?"Shelly asked while looking around for traffic then pulled out.

"That means "I adore you","Amara said blushing more.

"Awww... Die really likes you,"Shelly said.

"Hehehe, yup and I do too,"Amara replied. She then looked at the backseats to see two presents sitting where Amara and Die sat,"Huh?

"What is it?"Shelly asked not taking her eyes off the road.

Amara grabbed the presents and looked at them. She read the card on one of the presents.

"These are from Die..."Amara replied.

"What'd he get you!?"Shelly asked excitedly.

Amara picked up the card from the big present which was sitting in her lap. On the envelope it had Japanese kanji but underneath it said _To my little Russian redhead_, making Amara smile. She pulled out the card from the envelope.

"To someone special,"Amara read on the front.

"I can see where this is going,"Shelly replied smiling.

Amara laughed and opened the card,"It's all kanji but he did translate it."

"Read it!"Shelly cried out.

"Ah! Ok!"Amara jumped a little, she then focused on the note Die wrote her,"Dear Amara, even though we haven't known each other long, I had to get this present for you. It reminded me so much of you and I know you will love it. I will miss you terribly when I'm back in Japan but will contact you immediately. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and Christmas. I got another present for Christmas but don't open it until Christmas! Suki da, Amara and Happy Birthday. _Love_, Die."

"That's so sweet of Die,"Shelly replied smiling.

"Yup,"Amara replied then turned over the card,"Lo and behold, what is this?"

"What?"Shelly asked curiously.

"P.S. I told Kyo to sign Shelly's Uroboros CD for you. Shelly now has all our signatures,"Amara read aloud,"We even signed the rest of your CD, Amara."

"What!?"Shelly screamed.

Amara grabbed Shelly's purse and pulled out her Uroboros CD.

"Ha, he did!"Amara replied,"He even put down a little message in Japanese!"

"Die, I fucking love you!"Shelly screamed happily.

Amara laughed at Shelly's reaction then turned her attention to the present Die had given to her for her birthday. She carefully opened the shiny paper only to go wide eyed.

"Oh my god..."Amara whispered.

"What did he get you?"Shelly asked mentally cursing that she had to watch the road.

"Die... he got me the porcelain Alice in Wonderland doll I wanted..."Amara replied.

"He got you that expensive doll!?"Shelly cried,"That small thing is thirty-eight dollars!"

"He didn't have to do that..."Amara replied. She then looked at the other present that was on her lap also. It was a little smaller,"I wonder what he got me for Christmas?"

"Probably a wedding ring,"Shelly replied smirking.

"Haha, yeah right,"Amara replied sticking her tongue out at Shelly.

"Oh, real mature, Amara"Shelly said.

Amara laughed then looked at the Alice doll, thinking about Die.


	6. Can't Deny My Feelings

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Die was sitting at the computer, doing some research. He then looked out the window to see it was very gloomy outside. The ride to San Francisco was really boring. Toshiya walked by and looked at the screen to see what Die was doing. He looked to see that Die was looking up Russian.

"What are you looking up Russian words for?"Toshiya asked.

"Amara said something in Russian and I didn't know what she said,"Die explained.

"You mean when she was singing it at karaoke?"Kaoru asked who was sitting across from Die.

"No. When we were in the car, she whispered something to me,"Die replied,"She said "Pokazhi mne lyubov"."

"I bet it meant,"Get your hand off my leg, pervert","Shinya said with a smug smirk.

Kaoru and Toshiya couldn't help but snicker but Die was pissed and not amused. He got out of his seat and went after Shinya. Shinya began to run to the other end of the bus, screaming.

Kyo was trying to sleep but Shinya's screaming woke him up. He put the pillow over his face trying to block out everything around him.

"Ah! Die! What the hell!?"Shinya cried.

Kyo got up from his place and walking towards Shinya and Die; he had enough of this shit. He was sick and wanted to rest before performing in San Francisco. He threw his pillow at Shinya and Die.

"Will you morons shut the fuck up!?"Kyo growled,"I am trying to sleep!"

Die glared at Shinya then smacked him repeatedly with the pillow. Kyo only sighed and placed his hand on his head.

"What are you even doing anyway?"Kyo asked looking at Die.

"I was trying to look up a Russian word and Shinya had to go and act like a dick,"Die defended.

"You never know. She probably did say that!"Shinya laughed.

Die smacked him again with the pillow and then sat on him.

"What who said?"Kyo pondered.

"Amara. She said something to me in Russian and I didn't know what it meant,"Die explained.

"What'd she say?"Kyo asked sitting down and rubbing his eyes.

"Pokazhi mne lyubov,"Die said.

"She said "show me love","Kyo replied.

"Show me love?"Kaoru asked.

"Looks like Amara was already infatuated with you before she met you,"Toshiya said.

"At least she's not a crazy fangirl and goes off calling you kawaii,"Kyo replied with a shudder.

"Yeah,"Die replied while getting off of Shinya.

He went back to his seat and looked out the window of the bus to see it get a little sunnier.

'Pokazhi mne lyubov, Amara...'Die thought to himself with a smile.

With that thought, Dir en grey had arrived in San Francisco to do their performance. They were determined to do a great performance after their time with the two girls from Colorado, just for them.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(  
Amara shifted in her bed, throwing the covers around and hugged her pillow close. She had sweet dreams of her and Die together, holding hands and kissing. It had been a few days since the Dir en grey concert and when Shelly and Amara met the lovely boys. Both her and Shelly agreed that meeting Dir en grey and spending a night out on the town with them was the best night of their lives. Shelly then came into Amara's room and began to shake Amara.

"Amara! Get up!"Shelly cried.

"Gah! What the hell!?"Amara screamed,"What's so important that you have to wake me up at 9:30!?"

"The boys posted a blog and they sent me a message on Facebook!"Shelly replied excitedly.

"What!?"Amara cried scrambling out of bed.

Both ran back to the laptop both girls shared. Shelly showed Amara the blog that Kaoru wrote about them arriving in San Francisco and enjoying themselves there. There were recent photos as well for when they arrived in Hollywood. Then Shelly showed Amara the picture of them at the venue.

"Looks like they're having fun,"Shelly replied.

"Yup,"Amara said smiling,"Show me the messages the boys sent you."

Shelly then went to her Facebook page and pulled up the message.

"It's from Toshiya!"Shelly replied happily.

Amara looked at the message,"Hey there, Shelly! San Francisco is awesome but not as awesome as Denver. We all miss you very much. Say hi to Amara for us and tell her to check her messages!"

Amara chuckled and shook her head. She then felt Shelly sit Amara down in the chair.

"Check your messages. I'll go make breakfast for us,"Shelly replied.

Amara signed onto her Facebook account and went directly to her messages to see she had six of them. There was one from each boy except for Die who sent her two. She opened the one from Kyo who said that he wished her and Shelly would have been in San Francisco for their performance. He also said he missed her. Amara replied to him by saying she missed him as well and thanking him for signing Shelly's CD. She opened the one from Shinya next where he said he wished they were with them to have fun again. Amara giggled and replied to him as well. Toshiya's and Kaoru's were about the same when they said they missed her and would love to hang out again. Amara replied with she would love that more than anything. Then she opened the first message from Die.

'Hey there, my little Russian redhead. I hope you loved the present I gave you. I really miss you and wish you were here to make it more fun,'Amara read.

"Aww... Die..."Amara replied.

Amara sent him a message telling him that she absolutely loved his present also that she missed him terribly and wanted him to come back soon. She opened the second email.

'Oh, I almost forgot! Suki da, Amara!'Amara read.

She blushed a dark red. Amara's heart felt like it was literally melting. She just wished that he loved her more than adored her. She so badly wanted to tell him that she loved him more than life itself. Of course if she told Shelly that, Shelly would make her do it, no matter what. Amara logged out of her Facebook and headed back to her room. She changed into her black pants, black spaghetti strap shirt and pulled a striped almost see through shirt. She went into the kitchen to see Shelly finishing up breakfast. She put out bacon, eggs and some toast onto the table. Amara made her cup of coffee then sat down. Shelly sat across from her and began to eat her toast.

"So, what did Die have to say to you?"Shelly asked with a smile.

"Well, he said he misses me and asked me if I liked my present. He also wish I was there to make it more fun,"Amara said sighing happily.

"Awww... how sweet,"Shelly said then drank from her milk glass.

"He even said suki da again,"Amara replied with a small blush on her face,"and calling me his little Russian redhead."

"He loves you and you know it,"Shelly replied with a smirk.

"He only adores me,"Amara corrected,"I'm the one who loves him."

"Oh, whatever,"Shelly sighed then looked at her watch,"Don't you have work today?"

"Yeah, at 4:30,"Amara sighed putting her head inbetween her hands,"Fuck my life."

"Try and cheer up. At least you can talk to the boys now,"Shelly said.

"True but work somehow manages to make my life a living hell even if the boys make it heaven for me,"Amara said finally digging into her food.  
Amara then grabbed the coffee pot to pour more coffee into her mug. Though, Shelly had a great point. Plus Die makes her happy beyond belief. He would definitely cheer her up even if she was having a terrible day. She thought about him and could still smell his scent. She could still remember the touch of his skin on hers, his warm eyes gazing down at her, his hot breath on her ear as he whispered into it and his tender pink lips kissing hers with desire. God, how she loved the taste of his mouth. His lips so sweet and wonderful against her own.

"Amara!!"Shelly screamed.

"What!?"Amara cried snapping out of her thoughts.

"That's enough coffee!"Shelly yelled.

Amara noticed that her coffee mug was overflowing and immediately stopped pouring,"Ah! Sorry!"

Amara grabbed a sponge from the sink and began to clean up her mess. She couldn't get those images out of her head. She loved Die so much and wanted to be with him right now more than ever. She wanted to tell him that she loved him.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Dir en grey have finally arrived to their home in Japan. As soon as they walked into their apartment, they all crashed on either the couch or the floor. That was a long trip from America to Japan. Toshiya sighed then pulled out his laptop, pulling up his blog and writing that they were safely back in Japan. Kyo was completely out since they were up almost all night last night since he got over his cold. Kaoru was asleep on the floor and had a cold, thanks to Kyo. Shinya was resting in a chair while Die was sitting next to Toshiya on the couch.

"Hey, we got a message from the girls,"Toshiya announced.

"Really!? What'd they say?"Shinya asked interested.

"The first one is from Shelly,"Toshiya said,"She says,"Amara and I miss you a lot too and want you to come back soon so we can hang out again. Amara will check her messages as soon as I'm done writing to you guys! Have fun and keep in touch!"."

"We should go visit them again, it doesn't necessarily have to be a tour, right?"Shinya asked.

"That's a great idea,"Die replied.

"Here's one from Amara,"Toshiya mentioned,"She says,"Hey Totchi, I miss all you guys already! I had a wonderful time with all of you and want to do it again but don't wait for another tour to do it! I would love to hang out with you again, it'd be great. Say hi to everyone for me"."

"She's so sweet,"Die replied with a smile.

"I want to check my messages next!"Shinya replied getting up.

"No way! I sent two messages to to Amara. I want to see what she said!"Die growled then grabbed the laptop from Toshiya.

"What the hell!?"Toshiya yelled.

Die logged out of Toshiya's profile the signed onto to his own. He then went to his messages to see Amara replied. Immediately he clicked it.  
'Dear Die, Thank you so much for my birthday present. It was exactly what I wanted, I love it so much. I have it sitting on my shelf. I think of you every time I look at it. I miss you so much already and I want you to come back soon so we can talk more. Take care and be safe! Love, Amara,'Die read to himself.

'Amara...'Die thought contently.

"What'd she say, Die?"Shinya asked.

"Oh, she just messaged me saying she wants to go out with you instead of being with me,"Die replied.

"Really!?"Shinya exclaimed.

"No, not really,"Die teased.

Shinya crossed his arms and slumped lower in his chair, pouting. Die just snickered at the pouting Shinya. Die composed a new message to Amara.

'Amara, I'm glad that you love your present. It reminded me so much of you with your soft, pale skin, ruby lips and sparkling eyes. I miss you a lot too and I want to come see you when I get some free time,'Die read to himself while typing then stopped.

How was he going to end it? "Suki da" was a little repetitive to him. Of course Die adored her but he did feel more than just adoration for her. When he was performing on stage, in Colorado, he somehow he yearned to be with her. He wanted to pull her onto the stage and take her into his arms. Die was ecstatic when her and Shelly jumped the fence just to be with the band and so Die could get to know Amara. Amara is the most interesting girl he's ever met but her uniqueness attracted him. He loved how she didn't care about Dir en grey's look from their visual kei days to their darker image now but just for their music. Die wished he could have Amara here and tell her how he felt. He felt like he could give his heart to her and that she would cherish it. Die felt like he was in love, not infatuated or have false feelings for her. But still he wasn't sure of what he was feeling. He didn't want to get Amara's hopes up by telling her than he loves her.

'I hope I can find a chance to visit. Love you so much, Amara,'Die read as he typed it.

He hoped Amara wouldn't read into what he said too much. Die logged out of his account then gave the laptop back to Toshiya. Die got up then headed towards the bathroom. Toshiya noticed that Die had a depressed look on his face. He wondered what was wrong with his friend.

Die closed the door of the bathroom behind him then sighed. He switched on the light to bring light to the room. Die then walked to the shower and turned the water on. He adjusted the knob to a warm setting. As the shower warmed up, he removed all his clothes then stepped in. He let the warm water work its magic on his taut muscles in his shoulders and back. Die sighed while leaning his hands on the wall, making the water dampen his long hair.

Die contemplated on what he felt about Amara. He liked her a lot of course and he's known her for only a few days and spending only five hours with her. When she was with him, she was able to make him laugh and smile. Though she was very shy at the beginning but managed to open up to him. He loved how her hands were soft and smelled of cherry blossoms. Die was happy that he was able to pull Amara aside and talk to her alone. The kisses they shared were tender but passionate at the same time. Die just wanted to hold her again and kiss her with all the love he had. Die couldn't lie to himself anymore; he had fallen deeply in love with Amara Volkova.


	7. Welcome Home

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Amara was at work and bored as usual. She was playing her PSP, waiting for customers to come in from the cold night. She mentally laughed to herself thinking no one is going to come in at 10:30 tonight. One of her co-workers, Rob, was behind the counter, also bored out of his mind. Amara hated working with this guy, especially on her late shifts. Rob would not stop talking about the Xbox and how it was the greatest game system in the entire world.

Amara sighed deeply as she played Dissidia: Final Fantasy. She was trying to level up Tidus but it was futile. She switched to Squall and started playing as him. Rob then looked up and then turned to Amara.

"Hey, Amara. Your girl is coming in,"Rob replied.

"What did I tell you about using my oxygen just to talk?"Amara replied concentrating on her game.

"Yeah, but..."Rob trailed off.

"You're doing it again,"Amara replied sternly still playing.

"Amara!"Shelly yelled as she came running to Amara.

Amara looked up,"Hey, Shelly. What's up? What's wrong?"

"The boys posted a new blog. They said that they got home safely to Japan,"Shelly said.

"That's great!"Amara said smiling.

"Also, Toshiya sent me a message. He told me to tell you to email Die soon,"Shelly replied.

"Is something wrong?"Amara asked.

"He said Die looked a little depressed before he went to take a shower and Die was in the shower for a half an hour,"Shelly explained frowning a little.

Amara was worried now. This did not sound like Die whatsoever and it scared her. Amara took off her name badge and threw it at Rob.

"Rob, clock me out. I have important business to attend to,"Amara ordered jumping over the counter,"Put my badge on my locker when your done."

"Sure thing, dude,"Rob replied.

Amara ran out of the store with Shelly. They ran to their apartment since it was only a few blocks away. Amara burst through the door to the apartment then went to the computer. She signed onto Facebook and went to her messages. She noticed she got a new one from Die. She opened it and read it. Amara blushed so much when she read it. He actually ended it with "love you so much" which Amara blushed at as well. He probably meant that as a love you like a friend. She knew this wouldn't be the right time to tell him that she was in love with him. Just then, Die signed onto Facebook in chat. Amara pulled up the chat screen and sent him a message.

'Hey, Die,'Amara typed.

It took a few moments but then Die messaged her,'Hey, Amara. How are you?

'I'm doing all right. How about you,'Amara typed still feeling concerned for Die.

'I'm doing fine. Still a little tired from the tour but I'm getting a lot of sleep :)'Die typed.

'That's good. I'm glad that all of you made it home safely. How was California?'Amara asked.

'California was a little different. It was a lot more ritzy and expensive than Colorado is,'Die replied.

'Yeah that sounds about right, hehehe,'Amara replied while she giggled to herself.

Die smiled at her answer then began to type again,'So how is Shelly doing?'

'She great. She's still on cloud nine ever since we hung out with you guys. I can't really blame her though since that was the best night of our lives,'Amara explained.

'That's great. I have to agree. That was one of the best nights of my life,'Die answered.

'Really?'Amara asked as she blushed and smiled shyly.

'It truly was. It was great the moment I locked eyes with you in that crowd. We never would have had that fun night if I didn't gaze at you during the show,'Die explained.

'Die... you're so sweet...'Amara typed.

Amara had to tell him now about how she felt. How she loved his eyes looking into her own, his arms wrapped around her, bringing her close to his slender, strong body, inhaling his sweet scent as his lips were on her, giving her a fiery kiss that was so mindblowing she forgets who she is for a second.

'Hey, Amara. The guys and I have decided that after Christmas, we'll come by to visit you and Shelly :),"Die replied.

'Really!? That's great. Shelly will love that and I can't wait to see you all again =D,'Amara replied excitedly.

'I can't wait either,'Die typed.

"Tell him now..."Amara whispered to herself.

'Die?'Amara slowly typed.

'Yeah, Amara?'Die typed curiously.

'I want to tell you something... and if you don't like it... I understand and I'll go away forever...'Amara replied apprehensively.

'What's wrong? Are you all right?'Die asked a little scared.

'Die... I'm crazy about you. I love you so much that it hurts but in a good way... I want to be with you so badly and just hold you close. I love you with all my heart, body and soul,'Amara typed.

Die sat back in his seat. He couldn't believe that Amara felt that way. This shy girl was actually pouring her heart out to him. Amara waited for him to reply but it was a couple minutes. She felt so stupid now. Of course Die would never like her in that way.

'I understand that you don't want me talking to you... I'll go ahead and leave...'Amara typed sadly as she felt tears well in her eyes.

'No, Amara! Wait! Please,'Die typed quickly,'I feel the same... if I could hold you now, I would. If I could comfort you now, I would. If I could kiss you, I would. I love you, Amara. I love you so much.'

'Do... you really mean that, Die?'Amara asked hesitantly.

'I really do... I've never been this sure before in my life,'Die replied as he smiled to himself.

'I'm so glad... I love you, Die...'Amara replied.

'I love you too, Amara,'Die typed with a smile.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

"Hey Amara, do you know what the date is?"Rob asked her as he was working on one of his stupid projects.

"It says on the computer screen, Rob,"Amara sighed playing her PSP.

"Oh, yeah,"Rob replied.

Amara shook her head thinking,'Moron.'

Though she knew the date was December 17th. It was nearing Christmas but the store was completely empty. She knew that everybody was home with their families and having a good time while Amara was stuck with an idiot who doesn't even know how to tie his own shoes. Amara kept playing her PSP but sighed deeply. She missed Die and the boys more than anything. Amara and Die were getting a lot closer ever since they confessed their love to each other. She wished that she could be with him right now. Amara looked at her watch to see it was 7:45 p.m. and knew she would be getting off soon. Just then Rob brought out boxes of items.

"Are you serious, Rob?"Amara groaned.

"Sorry, Amara. Don wants us to stock these items for we leave tonight,"Rob replied setting the boxes on the counter.

"Damnit,"Amara snarled and grabbed a box full of Xbox and PS3 controllers.

"Hey, Amara. Also too about the Xbox that has this awesome feature..."Rob started.

"Rob, if you mention one more thing about the goddamn Xbox, I will take this Xbox controller and shove it down your throat,"Amara threatened holding up a controller.

"Point taken, dude,"Rob replied grabbing a box.

Amara sighed while shaking her head. She went to where the video game accessories were and began to stock the shelves. She hated stocking right before she had to leave. She swore that when she got home she would have a couple drinks, go to bed and sleep all day tomorrow. Amara was not in the mood for anything. She cursed to herself as she heard footsteps behind her but didn't turn to them because she was too pissed.

"Excuse me, ma'am but can you help my friends and me?"a male voice spoke to her.

"Sure, what do you need?"Amara asked still not turning to them.

"I'm trying to find someone,"the voice said.

"If you're looking for Rob, that dipshit is a three aisles over,"Amara replied pointing to her left.

"No I'm looking for a girl. She's little, she's Russian and she's a redhead,"the voice replied hinting a smirk behind it.

'Wait a second...'Amara thought then went wide-eyed,'It can't be...'

Amara turned and her jaw dropped open. Standing before her was Die, Kyo, Toshiya, Shinya and Kaoru with Shelly standing with them.

"Hey, my little Russian redheaded lover,"Die replied smiling at her.

"Die!"Amara screamed and hugged him. The boys chuckled as they watched Die and Amara hug. Amara pulled back to look at him,"What are you doing here? I thought you were coming to visit after Christmas."

"We decided to change our plans. We all wanted to come and spend Christmas with you and Shelly,"Die replied,"If that's all right."

"Of course, it is!"Amara replied happily.  
"The boys got in a few hours ago and called me,"Shelly explained,"They told me what their plans were."

"We decided to come and surprise you at work,"Shinya replied.

"Are you surprised?"Toshiya asked grinning.

"Very, very surprised. I'm so glad to see you all,"Amara said smiling at them.

"Hey, Amara. Are you finished over there?"Rob asked stupidly from a few aisles over.

"Ugh... Rob,"Amara groaned,"Yes, and I'm going home now!"

"Rob giving you crap again about Xbox?"Shelly asked chuckling.

"Oh, you have no idea,"Amara sighed,"I'll be right back I need to go clock out and grab my things."

Amara let go of Die then headed into the back. She walked to the breakroom and grabbed her coat and scarf. She bundled up and headed to her locker and grabbed her purse. Amara was thinking that having the boys here was very coincidental. She prayed every night for them to come visit but now they are here. Something divine must have answered her prayers. She walked to the time clock and punched out then headed back out.

"Ready?"Die asked.

"Yeah, let's go,"Amara said smiling at him.

All of them walked out of the store. Die had his arm wrapped around Amara as they walked back to the apartment. Amara noticed that Shelly and Kyo were very close since Shelly had her arms wrapped around Kyo's arm. Kyo looked down at Shelly with a smile. Amara smiled then felt Die kiss her head. She looked up at him.

"Hehe, what was that for?"Amara asked smiling more.

"I missed you, that's why,"Die replied smirking.

"I missed you too,"Amara said holding him close.

All seven arrived at Shelly and Amara's apartment. All of them walked inside and Amara noticed that their bags were on the floor near the couch. Amara was a little confused as she took off her coat and scarf.

"Oh, yeah. The boys will be staying with us for a couple weeks, Amara,"Shelly mentioned smiling big.

Amara blushed ten shades of red. Dir en grey, the hottest band in the entire world, was actually staying in their apartment for 2 weeks. Did she die and go to heaven or what?

"That's great!"Amara said grinning big.

"We just need to sort out the sleeping arrangement,"Shelly added.

"I'm staying with Amara!"Shinya shouted.

"No, you're not,"Die growled at Shinya,"I'm staying with Amara."

"I don't mind taking the couch,"Toshiya replied.

"We have an extra bedroom if anyone wants it,"Shelly piped up.

"I'll take that one,"Kaoru replied.

"Ok, all that's left is my room and the futon,"Shelly said.

"Could I... stay with you, Shelly?"Kyo asked nervously.

Shelly blushed a dark red then smiled,"Of course, you can, Kyo."

"Aww, man! Now I have to take the futon,"Shinya pouted.

"It's ok, Shinya,"Amara said,"It's actually really comfy, I've had that futon for a couple years and it still feels great."

Shinya sat on it and smiled,"Hey, it is comfy."

Amara giggled,"Well, I'm going to change into something else."  
"All right, go relax for a bit while I finish making dinner,"Shelly offered with a smile.

Amara looked at Die who was looking at her. She nodded her head as if telling him he could come into her room as well. Die smirked a bit then followed her in, closing the door behind him. Amara walked to the nightstand, turning on her lamp. Die looked at Amara's room which was small but still cozy to live in. Amara opened her closet door and pulled out a shirt and some black pants. She then pulled off her socks and shoes, throwing them into the closet. Die sat on her bed, looking around the little room. He then spotted the doll he gave her, still in its box, on the shelf with his guitar pick by it. He also saw the group photo they took along with the picture of him kissing Amara. Die smiled, thinking back on that night when he actually had fun with someone else for once. He looked at Amara who was wearing a black and white lacey bra and red boycut panties with black skulls on them. She was very fit for someone who was so petite. He could see every muscle move under her creamy skin. He got up from the bed and walked towards her.

Amara was about to put her pants on but felt arms wrap around her waist. She looked up at Die who had his face near the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. His breath on her skin made her shiver. She could feel his lips lightly touch her neck, brushing ever so slowly over her. Die planted a soft kiss on her neck making Amara go weak at the knees.

"Die..."Amara whispered softly.

She turned to him, placing her hands on his chest. Die gazed at her with his umber eyes, burning with desire. Die brought her closer then leaned down slighty, kissing her full on the lips. Amara wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing back the same. Die and Amara then made their way to Amara's bed. Die lied her down, kissing her again. Amara could feel his body on top of hers, pinning her down. She didn't care right now, she was with Die. Nothing mattered to her right now except being in Die's arms. Die placed more kisses on her neck, giving Amara goosebumps all over her body. Die had one leg inbetween her legs and his other on her left side. He bit inbetween her neck making Amara moan a little.

His touches made her senses go ablaze and making her want Die more. Die gave her little lovebites along her collarbone then moved his lips down to her breasts. Her bra was preventing him to go any further. Die kissed along her cleavage, making Amara heave her breathing. Amara stroked back his silky hair. Die sat up and gazed at her. She was breathing heavily with ecstasy and her eyes were glazed over with lust. Amara sat up with him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Die rubbed her sides and moved his hands to her butt, slightly squeezing it. Die nibbled her bottom lip and sucked it lightly. Amara ran her hands up his tank top feeling his well defined torso. Die's tongue ran along her bottom lip, trying to open her mouth. Amara responded and partially opened her mouth, inviting his tongue in. Die kissed her passionately, placing his right hand on her lower back and his left rested on her shoulder blade. Amara placed her hands on the back of his neck, making the kiss deeper. Die's hand found its way to the clasp on her bra then carefully unclipped it. Die kissed her softly again.

"I love you, Amara..."Die whispered in her ear while lying her back down.

"I love you, Die..."Amara sighed contently.

Before Die could slip her bra off her shoulders, the door swung opened revealing Shinya.

"Die, Amara. Shelly's almost done with dinner so... oh my god, Die!!"Shinya screamed.

"Damnit, Shinya! Get the hell out of here!"Die yelled throwing one of Amara's shoes at Shinya.

"Die's taking advantage of Amara!"Shinya screamed while slamming the door, avoiding the shoe that was thrown at him.

Die growled then sighed as he looked back at Amara who was blushing. Die got off of Amara and sat on the edge of the frowned at him. She clasped her bra together again then held him from behind.

"Amara, I'm so sorry,"Die apologized setting his hand on his head,"I shouldn't have done that."

"It's all right. Both of us couldn't resist. All that pent up emotion had to be let out somehow,"Amara replied setting her head on his shoulder and rubbing his chest with her hands.

"You're right..."Die said grasping one of her hands. Amara kissed his shoulder then nibbled a part of his ear. Die smirked and slighty turn so he could look at her. Amara gave him a sweet smile, as if telling him that it was all right. Die placed a hand on her cheek then kissed her lips. He broke the kiss, caressing her cheek softly,"I do love you very much."

"I do too, Die. More than anything in the whole world,"Amara said kissing his palm.

Die kissed her forehead then stood up,"I'll let you go ahead and get dressed."

"Ok,"Amara replied getting up as well.

Die opened the door to the room then closed it behind him. She then heard Shinya shouting about "What the hell were you thinking, Die!?" and "You pervert!" which made Amara giggle. She changed into her clothing then walked out of the room. Shinya noticed her and ran to her.

"Did he hurt you at all?"Shinya asked.

"Shinya, I'm all right,"Amara laughed,"Die didn't do anything."

"Not from what Shinya told us,"Kaoru replied laughing.

"Die was practically on top of you,"Shelly added with a smirk.

"We were kissing,"Amara defended.

"Yeah! There was no penetration, we still had our clothes on!"Die growled.

"Hehe, ok, Die. We believe you,"Toshiya chuckled.

Die sighed, shaking his head. He sat down on the couch next to Kaoru. Shelly finished dinner and began to serve it on the table. All of them sat around and had Shelly's amazing lasagna she made from scratch. After dinner, they all say in the living room to talk. They all have been talking about what they've been doing the past month since they last saw each other. The boys were working on their new CD which Amara and Shelly couldn't wait for. Hours passed by and everyone was getting tired.

"So what should we do now?"Shinya asked.

"Go to bed,"Kyo replied.

"Sounds like a great idea,"Shelly added setting her head on Kyo's shoulder,"What do you think, Amara? Amara?"

When Shelly didn't get a reply, she turned to see Amara and Die cuddling on the couch, both asleep.

"Would you look at that,"Toshiya replied.

"How cute,"Kaoru laughed a little.

"We should sleep,"Shelly said then got up off the floor. She went to Amara and Die and slowly shook Amara's arm,"Amara, wake up."

"Huh?"Amara replied groggily.

"Toshiya needs the couch now to sleep,"Shelly replied with giggle.

"Ok,"Amara said very tired then turned to Die,"Die, come on, wake up."

"Hmm?"Die groaned shifting a little.

"We're all going to bed. Totchi needs the couch to sleep on,"Amara said.

"He can sleep on the floor, I'm comfortable here,"Die replied not opening his eyes and held Amara around her waist with his other arm.

"Hey!"Toshiya shouted.

"Awww, Die, come on,"Amara cooed giving him a peck on the lips,"We can snuggle in my big bed."

"All right..."Die groaned getting up.

Amara had her arms wrapped around him, setting her head on his shoulder. Die wrapped his arm around her then punched Toshiya in the arm.

"Ow, goddamnit,"Toshiya growled.


	8. Starting Early

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

There was a huge line of people for Dir en grey's "All Visible Things" tour in Englewood, Colorado. Amara Volkova stood with her best friend, Shelly Winters, in the twenty four degree cold night. Amara looked at her watch to see it was only six o'clock. She pulled her Gir hoodie closer to her while shivering.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Die and Amara walked into her room. Die walked to the bed and fell back onto it, immediately closing his eyes. Amara giggled then walked to him.

"Aren't you going to change into any night clothes?"Amara giggled.

"Too tired to,"Die replied still having his eyes closed.

Amara smiled at him then changed into a short, silk, red nightgown. She yawned then crawled into bed, beside Die. Die turned to her, instantly bringing her into his arms. Amara smiled and wrapping her arms around him. Die kissed her forehead while stroking her hair back.

"Goodnight, Die..."Amara whispered.

"Goodnight, Amara..."Die murmured softly.

They fell asleep in each other's arms. Amara was so happy that Die was here with her. Her life was complete now.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Amara woke up to the sun shining on her face. Amara turned to the side slightly to look at the clock. It read 7:30 a.m. in bright red letters. Amara sighed then rolled over to look at Die still asleep. She smiled at him and gave him a small peck on the lips. Die smiled a little and brought the covers around him more. Amara slipped out of bed carefully and walked towards the door. She looked at Die before she left the room. Amara closed the door quietly then looked to see Toshiya sprawled out on the couch while Shinya snuggled against the pillows. Amara silently giggled to herself and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed her favorite mug then grabbed the coffee pot from underneath the stove. Amara then got a coffee filter along with some coffee grounds. She started putting everything together and waited for her lovely coffee to fill the pot.

Amara leaned against the counter, closing her eyes. She thought about what happened last night when she was with Die. If Shinya didn't walk in on them, then Amara and Die would have definitely had sex. Though, Amara is a virgin and was frightened of actually doing it. She heard from a couple of her friends that it severely hurts the first time you do it. Though, she loved how Die touched her with his firm hands. His slender body against her small frame, his tender kisses filled with fire and passion and it felt so right. As her coffee was being made, she walked back to her room. Die was still asleep with the covers pulled up to his chest. He was lying on his left side with his left arm under the pillow while his right arm draped over him. Amara went to him and sat on the edge of the bed, trying not to wake him. She brushed some of his hair out of his face then placed her hand on his cheek, stroking it slightly. She really did love him more than anything. Die slowly opened his eyes to see Amara beside him with her hand on his face. He smiled up at her then sat up.

"What a perfect way to wake up,"Die replied with a yawn.

"Aww... Die,"Amara said blushing.

Die then pulled Amara on top of him earning a laugh from Amara. Amara felt Die's lips against her own, giving her a sweet kiss. He ran his hands down her back, feeling the satin material of her nightdress.

"You know, I never noticed how sexy you look in that nightgown,"Die replied smirking evilly.

"Die!"Amara laughed.

Die laughed then rolled over so he was on top of her. He kissed her while caressing her sides. Amara rubbed her hands up his arms to his shoulders. Die was still wearing his tank top and not to mention his jeans as well but Amara didn't care. That look on him turned her on like no other.

"Starting early today, aren't we, Die?"a voice came from the door. Die and Amara looked to see Kaoru at the door with a mug full of coffee,"By the way, good coffee, Amara."

"Get out of here,"Die sighed.

"What are you gonna do? Throw a shoe at me?"Kaoru snickered.

"No, I'm going to kick your ass,"Die threatened.

Soon Shelly poked her head into the room to see Die on top of Amara. She smirked then shook her head.

"Hey, Amara. Could you run to the store and pick up some stuff for breakfast and dinner?"Shelly asked.

"Sure thing. Make sure no one steals my coffee,"Amara replied glaring at Kaoru who was smiling at her.

"Thanks!"Shelly replied,"I'll leave the list for you on the counter."

Shelly closed the door when she was finished. Die turned back to Amara who was smiling at him. Amara held his hands.

"All right, cutie. I gotta get changed,"Amara replied sitting up.

Die smiled then got off her. Amara crawled off the bed, allowing Die to look at her underwear. Die smirked evilly.

"Cute undies,"Die said smirking more.

"Hehe, you perv,"Amara laughed while she turned and pulled her nightgown off so Die couldn't see her completely naked.

"But I'm your perv,"Die said smiling still watching her. Amara laughed then stopped after a bit. Die was hers? Did he mean that she was his girlfriend. Amara pulled on her bra then shirt and turned to him. Die noticed a pensive look on her face. Die got up and walked to her. Amara then felt his arms around her, bringing her out of her thoughts,"What's the matter?"

"Die... do you consider me... your... girlfriend?"Amara asked.

"Of course, I do,"Die said bringing her closer and kissing her nose,"Do you consider me your boyfriend?"

"Yes,"Amara said with a blush.

"Good,"Die said,"I'll go with you to the store. I'll wait for you in the living room."

Die let her go then walked out of the room. Amara blushed and changed into a long sleeved black shirt, dark blue jeans and put on her Dir en grey hoodie she got from the concert. She pulled on her shoes then walked out of her room to see all the boys up and Shelly looking through her recipe book. Amara walked to the counter to see Shelly's shopping list. Amara looked through it considering it was a big list. Looks like Shelly was going to make a big breakfast and dinner. Amara went to the calendar to see that she had to work today from nine to six tonight. She sighed deeply from anger.

"What's wrong, Amara?"Shelly asked looking at her.

"I have to work today from nine to six,"Amara groaned,"So I can't spend the day with you and the boys."

"We could come and visit you,"Shinya offered.

"It's all right, Shinya. You guys go and have fun without me today,"Amara said with a smile. She then turned to Die while putting the list in her pocket,"Are you ready, Die?"

"Yeah,"Die replied getting off the couch.

They grabbed their coats and pulled them on. Both walked out the door and down the stairs of the apartment complex to see snow slowly falling from the sky. Even though Amara hated snow, she thought this morning it looked really pretty. She then felt Die wrap his arm around her. Amara smiled then they started walking to the store.

"Hey, Die?"Amara piped up.

"Yeah?"Die asked looking at her.

"There's something I have to tell you..."Amara trailed off.

"What is it?"Die asked bringing her closer to him.

"About last night when you and I were about to... you know... If we did, then that would have been my first time..."Amara said almost whispering the last part.

"You're a virgin?"Die queried a little surprised.

"I am..."Amara murmured.

Die stopped her and looked down at her. Amara looked at him expecting to see an upset look on his face but instead saw concern. He placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Amara... I don't want to push you into something you don't want to,"Die replied.

"I know that but... last night, it felt so wonderful to be with you again... that I couldn't resist..."Amara trailed off,"I promised to save myself for someone who was special. I want to do it with you but... probably not any time soon."

"I understand. You tell me when the time is right and I will do anything to make it special for you,"Die said with a smile.

"Thank you, Die,"Amara replied hugging him tight.

Die softly kissed her forehead as he hugged her,"Doitashimashite, my little Russian redhead."

Amara smiled and they both continued to the store. They managed to pick up everything they needed for Shelly. On their way home, Die and Amara held each other close since it was getting colder outside. They arrived at home and quickly ran through the door.

"Cold outside?"Toshiya asked.

"Extremely,"Amara replied setting the bags on the counter. Amara then rubbed her nose then whined,"My nose is numb. I can't feel it."

Die laughed then kissed her nose and asked,"Better?"

"A lil,"Amara said smiling.

"So kawaii,"Kaoru joked.

"Ah! Don't use that evil word,"Kyo growled covering his ears.

"Why? Cause Kyo is considered kawaii?"Toshiya asked.

"You say it again, Toshiya, I will kill you,"Kyo threatened.

"I'm going to leave before this gets ugly,"Amara replied then went towards Shelly's room. She knocked on it,"Shelly?"

"Come in,"Shelly said from the other side of the door.

Amara walked in to see that Shelly was making the bed. Shelly straightened out the sheets and looked up at her best friend.

"The food is on the counter,"Amara mentioned.

"Thanks for getting the groceries, Amara,"Shelly said as she placed the pillows in their right place.

"By the way, how was sleeping with Kyo last night?"Amara asked smirking while crossing her arms.

"Let's just say he likes to cuddle,"Shelly replied.

"Kyo, a cuddler? Really?"Amara asked laughing a little.

"Yup,"Shelly said smiling,"Well, I'll go ahead and make breakfast before you have to leave."

"Sure,"Amara said.

"Damnit, Kyo!"Toshiya screamed.

"And there they go,"Amara sighed placing her hand on her head.

Shelly and Amara walked out of the room to see Kyo about to beat Toshiya.

"Boys, if you can't play nice, don't play at all,"Shelly warned them.

Kyo got off of Toshiya and sat on the couch, pouting. Amara laughed then sat next to Kyo on the couch. Amara talked with the boys while Shelly made omelettes for everyone. When she was finished, they all sat down and ate. Amara looked at the clock to see it was already 8:35 and sighed. She took her plate to the sink and set it in there. She walked to her room and got her work clothes on. Amara stared at herself in the mirror as she buttoned up her work shirt. She wished she could spend time with the boys while they were here.

Amara walked out of her room then grabbed her coat. She pulled it on and zipped it up, knowing she had to go out and brace the cold. She turned to everyone.

"See you guys, later,"Amara said with a wave.

"Bye, Amara. Have a good day at work,"Shelly replied.

"Gah, I'll try,"Amara said.

They all said good-bye to her as she headed out the door. Amara slowly walked to work, cursing the blistering cold and icy wind whipping at her face. When she got to work, things didn't get any better. There were customers everywhere and there were some angry ones too. Amara walked past them and towards the back.

"Amara! Where have you been!?"Rob shouted to her.

"I work at nine not 8:55, Rob,"Amara replied angerily.

Amara walked through the double doors towards the breakroom. She grabbed a hanger and placed her coat onto the rack. She went to her locker and put her purse in there while grabbing her name badge. She clocked in then went out to where all the chaos was.


	9. Sorrows from the Past

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

"So what should we do now, guys?"Kaoru asked.

"Should we go out and do some shopping?"Shelly asked.

"Yeah, I need to get some shopping done,"Kyo replied.

"It's only a week away from Christmas,"Shinya mentioned.

"Let's go,"Toshiya said.

They all got dressed in some warm clothes. Shelly locked up the apartment then all six of them went to Shelly's car.

"It'll be a little boring without Amara,"Shinya replied.

"We can all go out tomorrow too since she has tomorrow off,"Shelly informed.

"Yeah, we'll try and fun even if she's not here,"Die replied.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(  
"I hate my life,"Amara groaned as she was pulling out boxes of merchandise from the back.

"You and me both,"Rob said carrying two boxes,"It'll be better once I get home so I can play some Xbox."

"Shut up,"Amara groaned even more,"You and your damn Xbox. I don't see the point of having to pay almost hundreds of dollars a month to just play online. With a Playstation 3, you can play for free."

"But I get joy from just paying them to get great online play,"Rob said.

"You're such a dumbass,"Amara replied setting the box on the counter.

She opened it with her box cutter and began to stock the shelves. She sighed wondering what Shelly and the boys were doing right now. She looked at her watch and it read 5:15 p.m. which made Amara feel a little relieved but still pissed at the same time. Time flew by and Amara barely noticed that it was now 5:55. Amara was finishing setting up the rest of the Guitar Hero 5 games. She felt like going home and playing that now. Soon she felt an arm wrap around her waist. She looked down and noticed Die's tattoo on his right hand. She then felt soft lips press against her cheek. Amara laughed a little and turned to see him.

"For you,"Die said then handed her a little stuffed fox holding a red rose.

"Aww... Die..."Amara replied taking it,"I love it..."

Die leaned down and gave her a gentle peck on the lips. Amara kissed him back, holding his right hand in her left.

"Ready to go home?"Die asked.

"Just about,"Amara said,"Let me get my things."

Amara went and grabbed her things and clocked out. She walked back out to see Die waiting for her. He saw her then smiled. Amara pulled her coat on and went up to him. Die wrapped his arm around her then kissed the top of her head. Both lovers walked out of the store. Rob then went back to the counter, shifting his head from side to side, wondering where Amara went.

Die and Amara walked home slowly enjoying the night around them. Die rubbed her arm with his hand as Amara nuzzled her face against his chest. They arrived at the apartment and walked in to see Shelly making dinner and Kyo was helping while Toshiya, Shinya and Kaoru were playing poker. Shelly turned her attention to Amara and Die coming through the door.

"Welcome home,"Shelly replied warmly,"How was work, Amara?"

"Horrible. So many customers. They're like zombies, hungering for my flesh,"Amara replied placing her coat on the rack near the door and kicked her shoes off.

"I'm sorry. Well, I'm making one your favorites, Amara,"Shelly said with a laugh.

"Really!?"Amara replied happily.

"Yup from the cookbook your mom made for us,"Shelly said holding it up.

"Awesome!"Amara squealed. Amara stretched and sighed,"I'm going to go lie down for a bit."

"Sure, it'll take another hour for the chicken to be done,"Shelly mentioned.

"Great,"Amara yawned a little.

Amara looked at the boys playing cards with each other. Shinya and Kaoru were frustrated when Toshiya kept winning.

"Read'em and weep, boys,"Toshiya said placing his cards down.

"You are so cheating, Toshiya!!"Kaoru shouted.

"Yeah!"Shinya yelled then grabbed and looked through it,"He rigged the deck so he could win!"

"I knew it!"Kaoru said.

Amara laughed then walked to her room. She changed into a pair of jeans and a white button up shirt. She crawled on her bed then closed her eyes, letting sleep take over her. Fifteen minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door. Amara groggily lifted her head up.

"Come in..."she yawned. Die opened the door, walking in and closed it behind him. Amara smiled at him,"Hey there."

"Mind if I join you?"Die asked walking up to her.

"Nope,"Amara replied still sleepy.

She patted the place next to her. Die sat on the bed then lied next to her. Amara immediately scooted closer to him, snuggling close to him. Die rubbed her back closing his eyes slowly. Amara placed her head next to his heart, hearing his heart beat slowly. Die caressed down her arm then brushed his thumb over something that didn't feel right on her skin. He opened his eyes, looking at her arm. With the small bit of light in the room, Die could see scar tissue on her arm. He noticed some more scars on her arm. Was she a cutter? Amara looked at Die who was staring at her scars. Amara pulled her arm away from him and turned away from him.

"Amara..."Die started.

"I know what you're going to say..."Amara replied,"But... I couldn't help it... I was in so much pain at the time..."

Die turned to her and rubbed her arm a little, trying to calm her down. Amara wiped a stray tear that streaked down her cheek. Die kissed her shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?"Die asked trying not to pry too much.

"I did it back in seventh grade,"Amara started not turning to look at him,"I was an outcast, a reject to be more harsh. No one liked me nor did they want to talk to me. What didn't help either was my dad yelling at me constantly, every single day. He would yell at me before I go to school so I would be crying when I went to school. I only had a few friends who were there to comfort me. One day, I just snapped and took a knife and carved into my skin."

Die looked down sadly. He didn't think anything could happen to such a sweet girl like Amara. He could feel Amara trembling as she began to cry,"The next day... a girl found out I was cutting when she grabbed my arm when we played a game. I was wearing a white hoodie and she opened my wounds when she grabbed me. The blood seeped through the hoodie. She screamed causing the teachers to come over and see. I was taken to the nurse's office so she could rebandage my wounds then I was taken to the counselor's office. My counselor called home and my mother picked up. My mother was upset when she heard that I was cutting. As soon as I got home, my father was yelling at me for being so stupid and my mother didn't have anything to say."

Amara sobbed as she curled her body into a ball, crying hard. Die could see she was in a lot of pain. Die brought her as close to him as much as he could. Amara then turned to him, crying on his chest. Die held her tighter, stroking her hair back just letting her cry on him.

"Amara... no matter what happens you have people here who care about you. I know Kyo, Toshiya, Shinya and Kaoru do, Shelly does a lot but especially me,"Die said wiping away her tears and kissed her forehead,"We all love you and will never stop."

"Die..."Amara managed to choke out through her tears.

"Forget what happened in the past and focus on now. Think about the times that will come ahead; think about us,"Die replied setting his forehead on hers.

Amara opened her teary eyes to look into Die's beautiful eyes. She knew he was right. Her future was with Die no matter what.

"Thank you, Die,"Amara said holding him close while closing her eyes.

"Anything for you,"Die whispered.

He caressed her cheek while brushing his lips against her forehead, kissing it softly. Amara smiled, listening to Die's heart as she fell back asleep.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Fourty-Five minutes later, Shelly knocked on the door but received no answer. She slowly opened it to see Die and Amara asleep in each other's arms. She smiled at them. They reminded her of how she and Kyo looked together. Shelly walked towards them.

"Wake up, sleepyheads. Dinner is ready,"Shelly replied.

"Be there in a minute,"Die replied very tired.

"All right,"Shelly said smiling then left the room.

Die shifted a little, bringing Amara closer with a sigh. He was still tired from going out and shopping today but managed to buy some presents for his bandmates, Shelly and Amara. Die rubbed Amara's back and opened his eyes.

"Time to wake up,"Die replied.

"Too tired,"Amara yawned.

"Hehe, you're just as bad as me,"Die laughed. Amara chuckled then opened her eyes to see Die. She gave him a peck on the lips. Die gave her a peck back and sat up. He stretched and got out of the bed. He turned to see Amara was still lying there,"All right, missy. Time to get up."

"Make me,"Amara replied giggling.

Die then scooped her up, holding her bridal style. Amara laughed and held Die around his neck. Die carried her out to the dining room then placed her on the ground. Die and Amara joined their friends with dinner. Shelly made chicken dressed with a tomato and onion soup blend over rice. They were amazed how good it tasted.

"What recipe did you say this was from?"Shinya asked taking another bite.

"It was from a recipe book Amara's mom made for us when we moved in,"Shelly explained.

"My mom made the recipe up,"Amara added,"I loved it when she cooked it for me when I came home from school."

"Tell your mom it's amazing,"Kaoru replied.

Amara laughed a little and nodded. After dinner, Amara washed the dishes along with Die who wanted to help while Shelly and the rest of the boys were putting up the small Christmas tree Amara and Shelly bought last year. It was a four foot tree with lights already in the tree. Shelly plugged in the tree, bringing the lights in the tree to life.

"There, all pretty,"Shelly said,"What do you think, Amara?"

"Looks great, guys,"Amara said washing a plate,"Now all we need are the ornaments. They're in my closet next to my Halloween decorations."

"Awesome,"Shelly said going into Amara's room.

She came back out shortly and placed the small box of ornaments on the coffee table. The boys began to put the ornaments on the tree. Amara and Die finished with the plates and joined them in living room. Both sat down on the couch, feeling very tired. Kyo, Toshiya, Kaoru and Shinya finished up with the tree, making sure it looked nice.

"Now, for the final touch,"Shelly said. She placed a star on top of the tree,"There. Now it's complete."

"It looks beautiful. You guys did a good job,"Amara said smiling at Toshiya, Kyo, Shinya and Kaoru.

"Thanks, Amara,"Kaoru replied.

"Now we have a place to put the presents,"Toshiya said sitting next to Amara on the couch.

"I still have to wrap mine,"Shinya said sitting on the floor.

"We can do some of that tomorrow,"Kyo said sitting in a chair.

"You guys feel like doing something?"Amara asked setting her head on Die's shoulder.

"How about a movie?"Shelly replied.

"Great idea,"Toshiya said.

Shelly put on _The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor_. About an hour and a half into the movie, Amara had fallen asleep against Die's shoulder. Die noticed this and picked her up.

"I'm going to go ahead and put Amara to bed and sleep too,"Die replied.

"All right. Night, Die,"Shelly replied.

Die closed the door behind him with foot. He placed Amara onto the bed carefully. Die stripped himself of his clothing but left his boxers on. Die crawled into bed with Amara and pulled the covers over them. He wrapped his arm around her, falling asleep.


	10. Passion

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES!!!!! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

"So what should we do now, guys?"Kaoru asked.

"Should we go out and do some shopping?"Shelly asked.

"Yeah, I need to get some shopping done,"Kyo replied.

"It's only a week away from Christmas,"Shinya mentioned.

"Let's go,"Toshiya said.

They all got dressed in some warm clothes. Shelly locked up the apartment then all six of them went to Shelly's car.

"It'll be a little boring without Amara,"Shinya replied.

"We can all go out tomorrow too since she has tomorrow off,"Shelly informed.

"Yeah, we'll try and fun even if she's not here,"Die replied.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(  
"I hate my life,"Amara groaned as she was pulling out boxes of merchandise from the back.

"You and me both,"Rob said carrying two boxes,"It'll be better once I get home so I can play some Xbox."

"Shut up,"Amara groaned even more,"You and your damn Xbox. I don't see the point of having to pay almost hundreds of dollars a month to just play online. With a Playstation 3, you can play for free."

"But I get joy from just paying them to get great online play,"Rob said.

"You're such a dumbass,"Amara replied setting the box on the counter.

She opened it with her box cutter and began to stock the shelves. She sighed wondering what Shelly and the boys were doing right now. She looked at her watch and it read 5:15 p.m. which made Amara feel a little relieved but still pissed at the same time. Time flew by and Amara barely noticed that it was now 5:55. Amara was finishing setting up the rest of the Guitar Hero 5 games. She felt like going home and playing that now. Soon she felt an arm wrap around her waist. She looked down and noticed Die's tattoo on his right hand. She then felt soft lips press against her cheek. Amara laughed a little and turned to see him.

"For you,"Die said then handed her a little stuffed fox holding a red rose.

"Aww... Die..."Amara replied taking it,"I love it..."

Die leaned down and gave her a gentle peck on the lips. Amara kissed him back, holding his right hand in her left.

"Ready to go home?"Die asked.

"Just about,"Amara said,"Let me get my things."

Amara went and grabbed her things and clocked out. She walked back out to see Die waiting for her. He saw her then smiled. Amara pulled her coat on and went up to him. Die wrapped his arm around her then kissed the top of her head. Both lovers walked out of the store. Rob then went back to the counter, shifting his head from side to side, wondering where Amara went.

Die and Amara walked home slowly enjoying the night around them. Die rubbed her arm with his hand as Amara nuzzled her face against his chest. They arrived at the apartment and walked in to see Shelly making dinner and Kyo was helping while Toshiya, Shinya and Kaoru were playing poker. Shelly turned her attention to Amara and Die coming through the door.

"Welcome home,"Shelly replied warmly,"How was work, Amara?"

"Horrible. So many customers. They're like zombies, hungering for my flesh,"Amara replied placing her coat on the rack near the door and kicked her shoes off.

"I'm sorry. Well, I'm making one your favorites, Amara,"Shelly said with a laugh.

"Really!?"Amara replied happily.

"Yup from the cookbook your mom made for us,"Shelly said holding it up.

"Awesome!"Amara squealed. Amara stretched and sighed,"I'm going to go lie down for a bit."

"Sure, it'll take another hour for the chicken to be done,"Shelly mentioned.

"Great,"Amara yawned a little.

Amara looked at the boys playing cards with each other. Shinya and Kaoru were frustrated when Toshiya kept winning.

"Read'em and weep, boys,"Toshiya said placing his cards down.

"You are so cheating, Toshiya!!"Kaoru shouted.

"Yeah!"Shinya yelled then grabbed and looked through it,"He rigged the deck so he could win!"

"I knew it!"Kaoru said.

Amara laughed then walked to her room. She changed into a pair of jeans and a white button up shirt. She crawled on her bed then closed her eyes, letting sleep take over her. Fifteen minutes later, there was a soft knock on the door. Amara groggily lifted her head up.

"Come in..."she yawned. Die opened the door, walking in and closed it behind him. Amara smiled at him,"Hey there."

"Mind if I join you?"Die asked walking up to her.

"Nope,"Amara replied still sleepy.

She patted the place next to her. Die sat on the bed then lied next to her. Amara immediately scooted closer to him, snuggling close to him. Die rubbed her back closing his eyes slowly. Amara placed her head next to his heart, hearing his heart beat slowly. Die caressed down her arm then brushed his thumb over something that didn't feel right on her skin. He opened his eyes, looking at her arm. With the small bit of light in the room, Die could see scar tissue on her arm. He noticed some more scars on her arm. Was she a cutter? Amara looked at Die who was staring at her scars. Amara pulled her arm away from him and turned away from him.

"Amara..."Die started.

"I know what you're going to say..."Amara replied,"But... I couldn't help it... I was in so much pain at the time..."

Die turned to her and rubbed her arm a little, trying to calm her down. Amara wiped a stray tear that streaked down her cheek. Die kissed her shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?"Die asked trying not to pry too much.

"I did it back in seventh grade,"Amara started not turning to look at him,"I was an outcast, a reject to be more harsh. No one liked me nor did they want to talk to me. What didn't help either was my dad yelling at me constantly, every single day. He would yell at me before I go to school so I would be crying when I went to school. I only had a few friends who were there to comfort me. One day, I just snapped and took a knife and carved into my skin."

Die looked down sadly. He didn't think anything could happen to such a sweet girl like Amara. He could feel Amara trembling as she began to cry,"The next day... a girl found out I was cutting when she grabbed my arm when we played a game. I was wearing a white hoodie and she opened my wounds when she grabbed me. The blood seeped through the hoodie. She screamed causing the teachers to come over and see. I was taken to the nurse's office so she could rebandage my wounds then I was taken to the counselor's office. My counselor called home and my mother picked up. My mother was upset when she heard that I was cutting. As soon as I got home, my father was yelling at me for being so stupid and my mother didn't have anything to say."

Amara sobbed as she curled her body into a ball, crying hard. Die could see she was in a lot of pain. Die brought her as close to him as much as he could. Amara then turned to him, crying on his chest. Die held her tighter, stroking her hair back just letting her cry on him.

"Amara... no matter what happens you have people here who care about you. I know Kyo, Toshiya, Shinya and Kaoru do, Shelly does a lot but especially me,"Die said wiping away her tears and kissed her forehead,"We all love you and will never stop."

"Die..."Amara managed to choke out through her tears.

"Forget what happened in the past and focus on now. Think about the times that will come ahead; think about us,"Die replied setting his forehead on hers.

Amara opened her teary eyes to look into Die's beautiful eyes. She knew he was right. Her future was with Die no matter what.

"Thank you, Die,"Amara said holding him close while closing her eyes.

"Anything for you,"Die whispered.

He caressed her cheek while brushing his lips against her forehead, kissing it softly. Amara smiled, listening to Die's heart as she fell back asleep.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Fourty-Five minutes later, Shelly knocked on the door but received no answer. She slowly opened it to see Die and Amara asleep in each other's arms. She smiled at them. They reminded her of how she and Kyo looked together. Shelly walked towards them.

"Wake up, sleepyheads. Dinner is ready,"Shelly replied.

"Be there in a minute,"Die replied very tired.

"All right,"Shelly said smiling then left the room.

Die shifted a little, bringing Amara closer with a sigh. He was still tired from going out and shopping today but managed to buy some presents for his bandmates, Shelly and Amara. Die rubbed Amara's back and opened his eyes.

"Time to wake up,"Die replied.

"Too tired,"Amara yawned.

"Hehe, you're just as bad as me,"Die laughed. Amara chuckled then opened her eyes to see Die. She gave him a peck on the lips. Die gave her a peck back and sat up. He stretched and got out of the bed. He turned to see Amara was still lying there,"All right, missy. Time to get up."

"Make me,"Amara replied giggling.

Die then scooped her up, holding her bridal style. Amara laughed and held Die around his neck. Die carried her out to the dining room then placed her on the ground. Die and Amara joined their friends with dinner. Shelly made chicken dressed with a tomato and onion soup blend over rice. They were amazed how good it tasted.

"What recipe did you say this was from?"Shinya asked taking another bite.

"It was from a recipe book Amara's mom made for us when we moved in,"Shelly explained.

"My mom made the recipe up,"Amara added,"I loved it when she cooked it for me when I came home from school."

"Tell your mom it's amazing,"Kaoru replied.

Amara laughed a little and nodded. After dinner, Amara washed the dishes along with Die who wanted to help while Shelly and the rest of the boys were putting up the small Christmas tree Amara and Shelly bought last year. It was a four foot tree with lights already in the tree. Shelly plugged in the tree, bringing the lights in the tree to life.

"There, all pretty,"Shelly said,"What do you think, Amara?"

"Looks great, guys,"Amara said washing a plate,"Now all we need are the ornaments. They're in my closet next to my Halloween decorations."

"Awesome,"Shelly said going into Amara's room.

She came back out shortly and placed the small box of ornaments on the coffee table. The boys began to put the ornaments on the tree. Amara and Die finished with the plates and joined them in living room. Both sat down on the couch, feeling very tired. Kyo, Toshiya, Kaoru and Shinya finished up with the tree, making sure it looked nice.

"Now, for the final touch,"Shelly said. She placed a star on top of the tree,"There. Now it's complete."

"It looks beautiful. You guys did a good job,"Amara said smiling at Toshiya, Kyo, Shinya and Kaoru.

"Thanks, Amara,"Kaoru replied.

"Now we have a place to put the presents,"Toshiya said sitting next to Amara on the couch.

"I still have to wrap mine,"Shinya said sitting on the floor.

"We can do some of that tomorrow,"Kyo said sitting in a chair.

"You guys feel like doing something?"Amara asked setting her head on Die's shoulder.

"How about a movie?"Shelly replied.

"Great idea,"Toshiya said.

Shelly put on _The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor_. About an hour and a half into the movie, Amara had fallen asleep against Die's shoulder. Die noticed this and picked her up.

"I'm going to go ahead and put Amara to bed and sleep too,"Die replied.

"All right. Night, Die,"Shelly replied.

Die closed the door behind him with foot. He placed Amara onto the bed carefully. Die stripped himself of his clothing but left his boxers on. Die crawled into bed with Amara and pulled the covers over them. He wrapped his arm around her, falling asleep.


	11. Painful Dreams

Allo! This is my first Dir en grey story so please bear with me. This is a very long story and will have a lot of drama but I'm proud of it. NO FLAMES! I put my heart and soul into this story!

I do not own Dir en grey (wish I did ), I do not own their songs, instruments and etc. I also do not own any t.A.T.u songs and I do not own t.A.T.u either. I have copyright on my character Amara Volkova and other various characters throughout this story. Shelly Winters is owned by my good friend and I have permission to use her!

Reviews are greatly appreciated so I can continue!

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Amara slightly opened her eyes, seeing it was still dark outside. She noticed an arm wrapped around her as well as a head leaning against hers. From the faint light from the street lights, Amara saw Die's tattoo, of the scales on his hand, which rested on her upper right arm. Die's left hand rested on his stomach while his head was against hers. Amara moved his hair out of his face causing him to shift a little and bringing her closer to him. She moved her right hand to his left, gently holding it in hers as she slipped back into a deep slumber.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Amara looked around to see that she was in an amusement park. She turned to her side to see that there was a strange looking clown, entertaining some children and their parents. She noticed she was wearing a white dress that went an inch above her knees and black sandals. Amara then walked towards the carousel to see two people on it. She noticed one to be Die with a girl who had black hair but Amara couldn't see her face. Die smiled at her as he leaned in and kissed her deeply. Amara could feel her heart break instantly. No, it wasn't broken; her heart completely disintegrated. The girl unbuttoned Die's shirt, throwing it aside as she caressed his back, slightly digging her nails into his shoulders. Soon Amara began to feel herself sing in Russian.  
"Zarevet' ubezhat'... Ili dver' na zamok... I molchat' i lezhat'... Izuchat' potolok... I mechtat' ne kak vse... Tselovat' nebesa...Potolok karusel'... Polchasa, polchasa..."Amara sang softly as she was watching them beginning to make love to one another.

She felt herself turn around to walk away. She tried to resist walking away but her body had a mind of it's own. She wanted to run up to them and scream at them for what they were doing. She wanted to scream so loud, the world could hear her. Amara felt tears slipping down her face, continuing to walk towards an endless nowhere.

Amara sat up quickly, breathing heavily. She looked around to see she was in her room. It was snowing lightly outside but she knew it had to be around seven in the morning. She then turned to see Die asleep on his side. Amara couldn't help but begin to cry. She brought her knees to her chest, sobbing against her covers. Die opened his eyes only to see Amara crying her eyes out. He sat up, immediately wrapping his arms around her.

"Amara, Amara, what's the matter?"Die asked concerned. Amara didn't say anything and kept sobbing. She threw her arms around his neck, burying her face into his chest. Die held her close, stroking her hair back,"Did you have a nightmare?"

Amara nodded and continued sobbing,"It... it... it was horrible..."

"It's all right..."Die vowed,"I'm here. Don't cry..."

He wondered what she dreamt about that made her so upset but Die focused on comforting his girlfriend. Die rubbed her back and placing a small kiss on her cheek. Amara wrapped her arms around his neck tighter, kissing his lips with pain and passion.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Shelly slowly opened her eyes to see Kyo sleeping next to her with his arm wrapped around her. She could hear his soft breathing which she thought was cute. Shelly placed a gentle kiss upon his pink ones. Kyo opened his eyes seeing Shelly over him.

"Good morning,"Kyo replied with a yawn.

"Good morning, my love,"Shelly said smiling at him. She snuggled against him,"Last night was absolutely amazing."

"It was,"Kyo said holding her while closing his eyes,"Do you regret it?"

"Never... it was amazing... you were amazing,"Shelly said breathlessly stroking his chest.

"You were also,"Kyo replied.

He slightly rolled on top of her, kissing her deeply. Shelly embraced him tightly, kissing him back as well.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

Die walked into the kitchen and grabbed Amara's favorite mug from the counter. He boiled some water then grabbed the vanilla caramel latte mix. He put some into the mug along with a couple scoops of sugar. When the water was boiled, Die poured it into the mug, mixing the contents together. Kaoru opened his eyes, smelling the sweet aroma of the coffee. He looked into the kitchen to see Die. Kaoru got up, walking to his bandmate.

"What are you doing up this early, Die?"Kaoru asked scratching his head.

"I wanted to make a cup of coffee for Amara,"Die replied grabbing the milk from the fridge and poured a dab of it in the foaming cup.

"That's sweet of you,"Kaoru yawned. He lazily went back to the couch next to Toshiya,"You're lucky, Die."

"I know I am... thanks, Kaoru,"Die trailed off walking back into Amara's room.

He closed the door behind him, turning his gaze to Amara who was looking at her hands. She was still crying but not as bad as before. Die sat next to her and gave her the mug.

"Here..."Die whispered softly.

"Thank you..."Amara murmured.

"Anything for you,"Die replied.

She took a sip of it and watched the foam move in the cup. Die frowned as he was beginning to worry about Amara. He wanted to know what that dream was about. Why was it so traumatizing?

"Die..."Amara spoke up.

Die broke out of this thoughts after hearing her voice,"Yes?"

"You know I love you, right?"Amara asked not looking at him.

"Of course, I love you too,"Die said getting closer to her,"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know..."Amara trailed off.

Die held her as she drank her coffee. She didn't once turn to look at him. Amara finished her coffee and placed the mug on the table while getting out of bed. Die looked at her who had her back turned to him.

"I'm going to go for a walk..."Amara said,"I want to be alone for a bit..."

"Oh, all right..."Die said sadly.

Amara changed into some jeans, a long sleeved shirt then pulled on her coat. She walked out of her room, not noticing Toshiya or Kaoru asleep on the couch. She slipped her shoes on then walked out the door. Die watched her leave which broke his heart.

Amara had no idea where she was going but she kept on walking. Snow continued to fall lightly from the gloomy sky. Why was this dream bugging her so much? It wasn't going to come true. At least she didn't think it would. It couldn't happen like that one time. She knew Die loved her with all his heart but couldn't help but have a bad feeling about the dream. Would Die really do that to her? Amara noticed that she was walking through the park near the apartments. The wind blew past her with an icy touch making her pull her jacket close to her. Amara then leaned against a tree while closing her eyes.

She also wondered why her dream resembled t.A.T.u's video _30 Minutes_. Amara turned her gaze to see a young couple taking their daughter out for a walk. The young girl looked at Amara and waved at her. Her parents looked to where their daughter was waving and waved at Amara as well. Amara shyly waved back at them. For a split second, Amara thought about her and Die walking through a park with their child. She blushed a very dark red at the thought. She then watched the little girl's father pick her up and held her close. The man's wife smiled at him and he gave her a soft kiss. Amara kept watching them till they were out of her sight. Amara decided to head back home to be with Die.

)~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~(

"She just walked out?"Kyo asked.

"She just told me that she needed to go for a walk and wanted to be alone,"Die explained.

"Ohno... that's not good,"Shelly said getting a frying pan to cook some hashbrowns,"She might not be back for a bit."

"Do you know what upset her, Die?"Toshiya asked sitting at the counter.

"It was a dream she had. She kept repeating "It was horrible, it was horrible" while crying,"Die said.

"That has never happened before,"Shelly said turning on the oven and placing some vegetable oil in the pan,"Well, except for that one time back in high school."

"What happened then, Shelly?"Kyo asked.

"Well..."Shelly started but stopped,"If I tell you all this, do not tell Amara what I told you, don't even mention it."

"We won't,"Shinya piped up.

"Well, Amara used to date someone named Victor back in high school. Her and Victor were inseparable and Victor was even talking to her about marriage. They were together since their freshmen year,"Shelly explained,"One day, Amara was waiting for him at the front of our school like they usually did but he never came that day. She figured that he was sick so she shrugged it off. When she went to his house later that day, Victor's mother told Amara that Victor just up and left without a word. Amara broke down and wouldn't come out of her room for a week. She was telling me, a week before Victor disappeared, that she had dreams of him leaving her."

"You think Amara is having those dreams again but with Die?"Kaoru asked.

"I think she is..."Shelly said then looked at Die,"Die, she loves you more than anything... I don't know if she could handle another heartbreak like that again."

"I would never leave her..."Die trailed off,"I love her so much."

Then the door to the apartment opened. They turned to see Amara walking through the door. She placed her scarf on the hook along with her coat. Amara noticed they were all staring at her.

"Morning, guys,"Amara said smiling at them.

"Hey there, Amara. Ready for some breakfast?"Shelly asked.

"Yeah, I'll be out soon. I'm going to take a quick shower,"Amara said taking her shoes off. Amara walked towards her room then looked at Die,"Die... I need to talk to you..."

"Of course,"Die replied immediately and got up.

He got up and walked with Amara. Amara shut the door behind her. Before Die could speak, he felt Amara throw her arms around him, bringing him into a tight embrace. Die held her back, setting his head on hers.

"Die, I'm so sorry,"Amara said.

"For what?"Die asked confused looking down at her.

"For acting so cold towards you this morning... but that dream..."Amara trailed off.

"What about it?"Die asked.

"I... I dreamt that you were with another girl... I just stood there watching you make love to her. I sang in Russian then turned to leave as you two continued... I walked towards nowhere with weight on my heart,"Amara explained.

"Amara..."Die whispered holding her closer.

"Die... I never told you this but..."Amara trailed off.

"What?"Die asked.

"I was engaged... to my high school sweetheart,"Amara said,"His name was Victor and one day... he just disappeared."

"I'm so sorry, Amara..."Die replied.

"Thing is... I had dreams about him leaving me... about him just disappearing and it happened,"Amara explained,"Since I had that dream about you... I'm afraid of losing you to someone else. Die, I love you more than anything and I couldn't bear to lose someone like you... you make my heart fly everytime you smile and laugh. I love it when you hold me and kiss me."

"Amara, I could never leave you for someone else,"Die said placing his hands on her cheeks,"I love you more than anything and I care for you so much. I would never dream of leaving you."

Amara looked up at him, trying to hold back tears. Die pressed his soft lips against hers in a soft but sensual kiss. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs as he kissed her. Amara let a couple tears fall from her eyes, only to be wiped away by Die's thumbs. Amara held him closer as they kissed deeper. Die broke the kiss to look into her eyes while setting his forehead on hers.

"I love you, my little Russian redhead,"Die whispered.

"I love you, Die,"Amara replied smiling at her nickname.

"Did you like your coffee this morning?"Die asked.

"It tasted wonderful. Thank you,"Amara replied with a smile.

Die chuckled a little, still looking at her. Die kissed her again and wrapped his arms around her. Amara kissed him deeper and more passionately.


End file.
